Obaa Yaa
Can l forgive hubby for leaving us 22 years?
I got married 26 years ago to a gentleman who was initially very loving and caring by all standards. We were both happy in our marriage and blessed with two pretty girls.
As things were not going on well, my husband left Ghana 22 years ago to seek better economic fortunes in the United States of America (USA). At the time my husband was leaving, our children were four and two years old respectively.
He has not paid any visit to Ghana, let alone made any effort to enable us to join him there since leaving the shores of this country.
Initially, he wrote letters frequently to find out how we fared and enquired about the educational progress of the children.
More than 18 years now, we have not heard from him and are worried if he is still alive.
l have single- handedly looked after the children without the support of any of his relatives.
Surprisingly, he has written about two months ago to inform me that he has re-married and was no longer interested in me.
ObaaYaa, l must confess that this man has really ruined my life and caused me serious harm because l had turned down offers from many suitors who are now happily married with children.
Can l take legal action against him for damage caused me?
Ampoma, Accra.
Dear Ampoma,
l commend you for the ordeal you have gone through to take care of your children single-handedly in spite of the daunting challenges.
I can envisage how you feel and how enraged you must be against your husband who has not treated you well,as you try to remember the men who had proposed to marry you.
Though he could be charged by the court to pay you an alimony, you should desist from taking a legal action against him for the interest of your children.
Additionally, you should not infer that your marriage to those who had proposed to you would have been sailing well just like those they are married to. This is to confirm the fact that all the hands are not equal.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
