Obaa Yaa
Can l forgive hubby for leaving us 22 years?
I got married 26 years ago to a gentleman who was initially very loving and caring by all standards. We were both happy in our marriage and blessed with two pretty girls.
As things were not going on well, my husband left Ghana 22 years ago to seek better economic fortunes in the United States of America (USA). At the time my husband was leaving, our children were four and two years old respectively.
He has not paid any visit to Ghana, let alone made any effort to enable us to join him there since leaving the shores of this country.
Initially, he wrote letters frequently to find out how we fared and enquired about the educational progress of the children.
More than 18 years now, we have not heard from him and are worried if he is still alive.
l have single- handedly looked after the children without the support of any of his relatives.
Surprisingly, he has written about two months ago to inform me that he has re-married and was no longer interested in me.
ObaaYaa, l must confess that this man has really ruined my life and caused me serious harm because l had turned down offers from many suitors who are now happily married with children.
Can l take legal action against him for damage caused me?
Ampoma, Accra.
Dear Ampoma,
l commend you for the ordeal you have gone through to take care of your children single-handedly in spite of the daunting challenges.
I can envisage how you feel and how enraged you must be against your husband who has not treated you well,as you try to remember the men who had proposed to marry you.
Though he could be charged by the court to pay you an alimony, you should desist from taking a legal action against him for the interest of your children.
Additionally, you should not infer that your marriage to those who had proposed to you would have been sailing well just like those they are married to. This is to confirm the fact that all the hands are not equal.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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