Obaa Yaa
Should l take him back?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were classmates and later fell in love after we had completed school. Though l was pregnant at a time he was not employed and, therefore, had to depend solely on our parents, our love for each other was great.
He was forced to perform my marriage rites after which l moved to stay in his house.
We spent precious times together and made fervent prayers for God’s intervention in our marriage. Fortunately, God listened to our prayers and he secured a job which exceedingly gladdened my heart.
I thought that would permanently end our suffering but that rather marked the beginning of my worries.
Weeks after my husband had got the job, he always gave excuses of attending meetings after work, delayed in coming from work and finally chose to sleep in town.
After some months, he packed his things from the house and went to stay with another woman and has since failed to visit me.
Four years later and now that he has lost his job, he is pleading that l should accept him back. Is it my fate to cater for a jobless husband?
What step should l take?
Mary, Tema.
Dear Mary,
There is no transparency in the character of your husband because he only knows you exist only when he is in crises but shuns your company when conditions have changed.
There is no guarantee that he will stay glued to you when he gets another job.
l don’t think your husband can be trusted based on his previous behaviour.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
