Obaa Yaa
She Went in for the Manager
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am in a relationship with a woman in her late 30s, while I am in my mid-40s. We have been together for the past five years.
My problem is that we work in the same firm and share the same office. For reasons best known to her, she left me for our Manager.
When I confronted her about her behaviour and pleaded with her to end whatever she had with him, she insisted that they were “just friends.”
I am confused and hurt. Does she have any positive plans for me at all? Also, is it normal for a woman to be overly free with any man who shows interest in her?
Finally, is it right for a woman to test a man’s love, as many ladies claim they do?
Kwesi, Tafo
Dear Kwesi,
This situation has the potential to hurt you deeply, especially if she returns only when the other option is no longer available. That kind of behaviour is troubling and emotionally unfair.
From what you describe, she crossed a line and should acknowledge her wrongdoing and apologise sincerely before you even consider moving forward. No one has the right to toy with another person’s feelings simply because they are unhappy or uncertain.
You need to sit her down and have a mature, honest conversation about the direction and seriousness of the relationship.
Most importantly, ask yourself this question: Is this the kind of woman you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
Your answer should guide your next decision.
Greetings,
Obaa Yaa
Join our WhatsApp Channel now!
https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
