Obaa Yaa
Is family planning for only women?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have a question for you, and it is bothering me. Who made the law that family planning should be only for women when a couple decides not to have children again?
From my research, I have realised that women go through so many complications when trying to do family planning. My auntie died from tubal ligation, and that is a sickness related to family planning.
On the other hand, some men will always blame women for unwanted pregnancies, forgetting that they also have a role to play when it comes to family planning.
Why should it always be women endangering their lives? Some women bloat, others bleed non-stop because of family planning.
My question now is this: can men also go in for vasectomy?
Ayele, Osu.
Dear Ayele,
Your question is very interesting and can generate an unending debate.
Family planning should not be a woman’s burden alone. It is unfair to put all the responsibility and risk on women when both partners are equally involved in decision-making.
In my opinion, both couples should have access to information, resources, and healthcare to make informed decisions about their reproductive health.
The fact that your auntie died from a tubal ligation is heartbreaking, and it is a stark reminder of the risks women take.
Vasectomy is a simple, safe, and effective option for men. It is time for men to step up and take responsibility in family planning.
Not only can it prevent unwanted pregnancies, but it also shows respect for a partner’s health and well-being.
Couples should have open and honest discussions about family planning and be ready to share responsibility.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister, who is a single mother, is expecting another baby with the same man who has refused to take responsibility for their first child.
According to her, he left when their first child was just a month old and travelled by bus to his hometown (Libya).
Three years later, he returned after a very difficult experience.
He eventually showed up after leaving the family for three years. Upon his visit, she was lured by this man and ended up in bed with him again.
She later found out that she was pregnant with her second child, and she is currently at a loss as to what she should do.
Lilian, Abofu.
Dear Lilian,
When I read such stories, I get very angry with the victims—in this case, your sister—for being so careless.
She was extremely careless by having unprotected sex with a man who does not take responsibility.
As a matter of fact, the situation your sister finds herself in is heartbreaking and frustrating. Carrying another child with a man who has shown a consistent lack of care and respect towards her and their child is a heavy burden.
In this circumstance, her health and that of the unborn child, as well as the first child, should be her priority.
Tell your sister not to rely on the man again. She should rather find something to do to gain some financial independence.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.
It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.
But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.
I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?
Kersi,
Osu.
Dear Kersi,
Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.
They also get stigmatised by society.
It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.
Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.
I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.
They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.
I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.
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