Obaa Yaa
They harrass me everyday
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 12-year-old girl. My mother and I just moved to a new area in Accra. For some time now, I have a big problem on my neck.
A group of young men, three of them who I believe are in their early 20s always sit in front of their house and harass me whenever I am on my way back from school.
This is because one of them sent me on an errand and I refused to go.
Since then they have harassed me and also called me names.
One of them has threatened to beat me up if I use that route.
I always plead with my classmates to accompany me home every day because I’m scared of them.
I don’t feel safe when I walk alone.
Esi, Oyarifa.
Dear Esi,
I UNDERSTAND how you feel, especially when it comes to the fact that boys want to team up to bully you.
You always feel insecure because they can harm you.
Kindly tell your mother to lodge a formal complaint to their parent or head of household.
Let your mother make it explicit to the boys and their family that if the harassment and threats do not cease, then the police would be brought in.
Obaa Yaa
Alhaji is older than my father
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been traditionally married to an Alhaji at the instance of my parents at the age of 16 years.
Gladly, he has not had any sexual intercourse with me all this while.
Meanwhile, he funded my education from second cycle to the University where I have a year to graduate.
The idea was that I will finally move in to stay with him as husband and wife after getting my degree.
I will not be able to stand the shame and humiliation from friends if I marry him.
He is rich and caring, I must admit.
Should I agree to marry Alhaji who is few years older than my father?
Adiza,
Nima.
Dear Adiza,
YOU have been married to Alhaji traditionally, so technically you are his wife.
If you feel you don’t want this man, kindly discuss with your parents who gave your hand in marriage.
I must, however, warn that you might not have your way that easily after enjoying all the benefits Alhaji has offered to see you through your education.
The people to blame are your parents. They have put you in this trouble.
Discuss it with them as to how best they can get you out of it. It might mean reimbursing the Alhaji for all he has spent on you.
That may be a huge sum of money you cannot pay and I doubt if Alhaji will take it lightly with you.
Obaa Yaa
My friend wants his gifts back
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A family friend of ours returned from the United States of America (USA) and brought me a lot of goodies.
He invited me to his house and gave me a digital camera, an I-Phone, dresses and cosmetics.
Suddenly, this guy, a womaniser by nature ever since I have known him, started making midnight calls to me on the phone he gave me.
I refused his calls because he always called late. One morning, he informed me that I should return all the things he gave me.
Interestingly, I sold my phone because of the new one he gave me. So, if I give it to him, I would have no phone.
Nyamedo, B.A.
Dear Nyamedo,
I DON’T think you have to return the gift because he did not offer them to you in exchange for anything.
There was no agreement that he was giving you the items in exchange for love.
Gifts, once given unconditionally, remains gifts and cannot be returned.
If your friend had any intentions about you, what stops him from letting you know?
You can’t just give someone something and assume the person will be in love with you.
If he harasses you, report the matter to the police.
I will advise you to stop taking gifts from people if you don’t know their intention to avoid this kind of drama.
