Obaa Yaa
My friend wants his gifts back
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A family friend of ours returned from the United States of America (USA) and brought me a lot of goodies.
He invited me to his house and gave me a digital camera, an I-Phone, dresses and cosmetics.
Suddenly, this guy, a womaniser by nature ever since I have known him, started making midnight calls to me on the phone he gave me.
I refused his calls because he always called late. One morning, he informed me that I should return all the things he gave me.
Interestingly, I sold my phone because of the new one he gave me. So, if I give it to him, I would have no phone.
Nyamedo, B.A.
Dear Nyamedo,
I DON’T think you have to return the gift because he did not offer them to you in exchange for anything.
There was no agreement that he was giving you the items in exchange for love.
Gifts, once given unconditionally, remains gifts and cannot be returned.
If your friend had any intentions about you, what stops him from letting you know?
You can’t just give someone something and assume the person will be in love with you.
If he harasses you, report the matter to the police.
I will advise you to stop taking gifts from people if you don’t know their intention to avoid this kind of drama.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
