Connect with us

Obaa Yaa

Can l marry from this family?

Published

on

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother.  All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.

Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.

Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.

Advertisement

I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view.  Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.

What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?

Frank- Koforidua.

Dear Frank,

Advertisement

Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.

Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.

This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.

Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.

Advertisement

Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Obaa Yaa

It’s a no for civil engineering

Published

on

MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.

With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.

Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.

Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.

Advertisement

Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.

Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.

Enyonam, Keta.

Dear Enyonam,

Advertisement

BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.

Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.

Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.

She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.

Advertisement

Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.

It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.

Continue Reading

Obaa Yaa

My crush is giving me attitude

Published

on

Dear Araba,

THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.

When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.

Araba, Takoradi.

Advertisement

Dear Araba,

HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.

Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.

Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?

Advertisement

What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.

Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending