Obaa Yaa
Can l trust him?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have gone through challenges in our friendship which has spanned five years.
Having received complete endorsement from relatives, friends and people who have our matter at heart, everything was pointing to a pleasurable marriage life.
At the beginning of the year, my fiancé came to inform me that he would like to officially inform my parents about his intention to ask for my hand in marriage.
My parents were glad to receive this information and feverish preparations were made for the performance of the forthcoming customary rites.
This information has gladdened my heart and it has intensified our love for each other. We spent more time on the phone and devoted more time to share interesting moments.
Surprisingly, my fiancé has stopped calling me and has failed to visit me at work and at home.
My fear about his character intensified when l realised that my calls to his line could not go through but when l tried a different number, he picked.
When l enquired from him why my calls could not go through, he explained that he had a challenge with his cell phone, but l realised that there was a problem with our relationship.
In summary, my fiancé has married about three months ago without an explanation.
Should l take action against him?
Dorothy, Tema.
Dear Dorothy,
Naturally you ought to be disturbed because of the heightened expectations your fiancé had generated in your family. Your parents, relatives and well-wishers must have been disappointed in the turn of events.
l can envisage the copious tears you might have shed because of the unfortunate incident.
The relatively short period your fiancé has taken to marry, implies that he must have been monitoring you and this lady who is now his wife.
It is essential for you to know the reason for which he has settled on another person instead of you.
This information would help you to amend whatever you might have done wrong which must have informed your fiancé’s decision to marry a different person instead of you.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
