News
Don’t use sex as bargaining tools
Local preacher , Minister John Amponsah
Some African wives in the diaspora, mostly Ghanaians, have resorted to using sex as a bargaining tool in their marriages.
This act is said to be causing a lot of havoc in marriages, compelling the husbands to seek sexual satisfaction outside.
This came to light at a programme organised by the Men’s and Women’s Ministries of the New Covenant United Methodist Church (NCUMC) in Fairfield Ohio, in the United States of America.
It was organised under the theme, ‘Filling each other’s tank,’ and aimed at exploring ways to attend to the needs of spouses and families in order to build a happy Christian home.
It addressed areas including intimacy, finances, emotional and psychological needs, raising kids in the diaspora and extended families.
According to a statement issued by the NCUMC and copied The Spectator, the practice was ‘unholy and archaic’ way of using sex as a bargaining tool in their marriages.
It expressed worry about the lukewarm attitude of African wives, especially those in the diaspora, when it came to matters of sex and romance, unlike other wives who are always ‘battle ready.’
According to the statement, the situation has been so bad to the extent that some husbands sometimes, would have to appease their wives in order to get ‘what’s legitimately theirs.
However, members of the Women’s Ministry, the statement mentioned, shared myriad of reasons that affects their drive to explore sexually, ranging from stress from work and household chores.
Some of them blamed it on African cultural beliefs, that “when an African woman explores, she was tagged as a spoilt girl so it forces them to be laid-back or give them what was traditionally accepted or expected of them.”
The statement quoted a member of the Women’s Ministry, Mrs Florence Esi Jonfiah, who could not fathom why most wives behaved as if sex was a man’s benefit when as a matter of fact, its benefit was unquantifiable.
“Look, let’s not pretend, we equally need sex just like our men need it. For us, apart from the many health benefits including stress release, increased hormone production, vaginal health, improved circulation among others, the ecstatic moments alone is unimaginable,” she stated.
From Kingsley E. Hope, Kumasi
Muslims across the country celebrated this year’s Eid-ul-Adha in a colourful and spiritually uplifting atmosphere under the theme, “A Season of Sacrifice, Solidarity and Spiritual Renewal.”
The celebration brought together Muslims from diverse backgrounds in a remarkable display of faith, unity and cultural heritage.
The occasion was marked by special Eid prayers at various designated grounds, the slaughtering of rams in homes for sharing among family members, friends and the less privileged, as well as musical concerts and recreational activities including horse riding.
Leading the celebration was the Chief Imam, Dr Sheikh Osman Sharubutu.
While the national celebration was held at the Black Star Square where President John Dramani Mahama was the Special Guest of Honour, similar gatherings took place at different centres across the capital and other regions of the country.
A visit by The Spectator to some celebration grounds revealed Muslims, both young and old, elegantly dressed in colourful jalabiya and other Islamic attire, reflecting the rich culture and traditions of the Muslim community.
The celebration also portrayed the spirit of religious tolerance and peaceful coexistence in the country, as a number of Christians joined their Muslim counterparts to mark the occasion.
Muslim leaders and government officials used the opportunity to call on the faithful to uphold the teachings of the Holy Quran, renew their spiritual commitment and refrain from acts capable of undermining the peace, unity and security of the nation.
They further urged Ghanaians to continue to live in harmony and support one another for national development.
By Linda Abrefi Wadie
Dear Obaa Yaa,
During Eid-ul- Adha celebration, I decided to spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s place since we were planning towards our marriage.
To my surprise, what keeps me wide awake, restless and frustrated every single time is that he snores loudly like a generator running on full power, and I genuinely cannot get any rest
At a point, I thought it was just a normal thing, but I have realised it is something he does with ease and doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
When he steps out in the morning, I try to get enough sleep because I may not sleep in the evening.
The most annoying thing is that, he always wants to cuddle me. These two things are a no for me and a red flag.
We are about to get married, what should I do?
Enam, Keta.
Dear Enam,
The snoring and constant cuddling are frustrating, but you don’t have to choose between sleep and closeness.
Start with the snoring: check if it’s worse when he sleeps on his back, cut out alcohol before bed, try nasal strips or a humidifier, and see a doctor if he pauses while breathing.
For quick relief, foam earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones help a lot.
Separate blankets, a bigger bed, or sleeping apart on some nights often makes couples rest well and feel closer overall.
Bring this up before the wedding .Tell him you want to wake up next to him for years to come, but sleep deprivation makes you both miserable.
Test earplugs and side-sleeping this weekend, and if it’s still unbearable, bring in a doctor. Good sleep matters more for your marriage than staying glued together all night.
