Obaa Yaa
He calls me too much
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old lady planning to marry my 29-year-old boyfriend. He has all the qualities I want and we have been together for the past three years. He does his own business and I am a teacher.
My only worry is that he is obsessed with me to the extent that he calls my phone almost every hour. When I don’t answer he will continue to call, at least 50 times in an hour.
I have asked him not to call repeatedly because I get too busy sometimes that I am unable to answer calls. But this doesn’t seem to go down well with him. He tells me he would follow me everywhere I go even after we get married.
He says he can’t do without me and that I would have to stop teaching and manage his personal business after our marriage. I know he loves me but I feel he is being too clingy. Is his behaviour normal? Should I proceed with the marriage?
Worried Serwaa,
Haatso.
Dear Serwaa,
As you rightly said, your fiancé is obsessed with you and that is why he wants to be in touch with you at all times. Although you have been together for long, perhaps he still wants to be certain about your movements, hence his frequent calls.
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend being overly protective. You should be proud that he is head over heels in love with you. But don’t take it too seriously when he says he will “follow you everywhere” even after you both tie the knot. That could be a joke.
His persistent calls should not be a reason for you to abstain from the marriage. Continue to love him as you both plan your life together. The calls are normal and it should not bother you at all.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
