Am I a lesbian?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 21 and she is 24 years old. We are both females. This friend of mine once told me she loved me. I considered that to mean the normal saying of telling someone you love the person.

One day, she saw me with a guy and looked surprised. Later, she warned me not to get myself a boyfriend or she will be angry with me.

After that incident, she started showering me with gifts and money. She behaves like a man towards me each time we meet, trying to hug and kiss me.

I have realised that my friend is a lesbian.

One day she touched my sensitive part and I gave in. Since then I have also fallen in love with her.

Obaa, please am I also a lesbian? If yes, how can we advise ourselves to stop?

Claudia,

Koforidua.

Dear Claudia,

It seems you are in the process of being converted to a lesbian. It appears you are not comfortable with the practice even though you seem to enjoy it.

However, you need to know that some pleasant and enjoyable things that come on a silver platter can be costly.

Lesbianism is something our society abhors, therefore getting yourself engaged in it can bring you a lot of troubles.

Religious bodies have openly condemned practitioners, making it difficult for them to be accepted in the society.

I want to advise you to seek help from counsellors and let you understand the dangers lesbianism would expose you to.

It could mean you cannot have your own children unless you decide at a point to quit.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.