Am I a lesbian?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 21 and she is 24 years old. We are both females. This friend of mine once told me she loved me. I considered that to mean the normal saying of telling someone you love the person.

One day, she saw me with a guy and looked surprised. Later, she warned me not to get myself a boyfriend or she will be angry with me.

After that incident, she started showering me with gifts and money. She behaves like a man towards me each time we meet, trying to hug and kiss me.

I have realised that my friend is a lesbian.

One day she touched my sensitive part and I gave in. Since then I have also fallen in love with her.

Obaa, please am I also a lesbian? If yes, how can we advise ourselves to stop?

Claudia,

Koforidua.

Dear Claudia,

It seems you are in the process of being converted to a lesbian. It appears you are not comfortable with the practice even though you seem to enjoy it.

However, you need to know that some pleasant and enjoyable things that come on a silver platter can be costly.

Lesbianism is something our society abhors, therefore getting yourself engaged in it can bring you a lot of troubles.

Religious bodies have openly condemned practitioners, making it difficult for them to be accepted in the society.

I want to advise you to seek help from counsellors and let you understand the dangers lesbianism would expose you to.

It could mean you cannot have your own children unless you decide at a point to quit.

Let’s protect the girl child

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.

I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.

I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.

What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.

Araba,

Takoradi.

Dear Araba,

YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.

Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.

With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.

Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.

Obaa Yaa

My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.