Obaa Yaa
I’m fed up with this relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 22 years old and deeply in love with my boyfriend who is 25 years old. Secondly, my brother suspected that my lover had moved with many ladies but l did not believe this initially.
Though he is a very loving and caring person with whom l would like to spend the rest of my life with, there were moments l had entertained fears my future plans with this gentleman could fizzle out due to his behaviour.
A few months ago, some friends of mine saw him travelling out of Accra with a different lady. Though he had informed me that he would travel, he fell short to disclose to me details about the trip.
Upon investigations, l discovered that he had travelled with the lady. Though he had denied when l first confronted him on the issue, he later agreed and apologised to me, and l have forgiven him.
After a year, he was seen in an obscure area with another girl and he is back apologising. Should l accept his apology for the second time?
Nancy, Accra.
Dear Nancy,
The repeated actions of your boyfriend shows the sort of person he is and the troubles he will give you as a husband in the future.
His clandestine moves are questionable and should he continue with this kind of behaviour and coming back to apologise, then your heart will probably be troubled if you marry him.
The reason that you are fed up with the relationship should guide you in making up your mind that this marriage will definitely not end well.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
