Obaa Yaa
My decision to marry worries my parents
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Though I love my girlfriend and would like to marry her, my parents are not in favour of our relationship.
We have been in a relationship for five years and have decided to marry despite the disagreement of my parents.
My parents used several tricks including influencing many relatives to discourage me from going ahead to marry my lover but all have failed since I will go by my plan to marry this lady.
One of the most recent deceit was to discourage me on the grounds that the lady cannot conceive due to her previous relationship.
It is quite interesting to note that my girlfriend has not had any previous relationship to justify their claims that she is incapable of conceiving.
Despite all problems, I am still willing to marry this pretty lady and build my family with her.
Should I go ahead with my decision?
Samuel, Accra.
Dear Samuel,
Your problem is a general one which a lot of youth are confronted with.
Though marriage is contracted between two lovers, the consent or the approval of parents is important for peace to prevail.
Despite the differences in opinion between you and your parents, there is the need to smoke the peace pipe so that you can enjoy their support, love and care. With this, your wife- to-be will feel happy in the marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister, who is a single mother, is expecting another baby with the same man who has refused to take responsibility for their first child.
According to her, he left when their first child was just a month old and travelled by bus to his hometown (Libya).
Three years later, he returned after a very difficult experience.
He eventually showed up after leaving the family for three years. Upon his visit, she was lured by this man and ended up in bed with him again.
She later found out that she was pregnant with her second child, and she is currently at a loss as to what she should do.
Lilian, Abofu.
Dear Lilian,
When I read such stories, I get very angry with the victims—in this case, your sister—for being so careless.
She was extremely careless by having unprotected sex with a man who does not take responsibility.
As a matter of fact, the situation your sister finds herself in is heartbreaking and frustrating. Carrying another child with a man who has shown a consistent lack of care and respect towards her and their child is a heavy burden.
In this circumstance, her health and that of the unborn child, as well as the first child, should be her priority.
Tell your sister not to rely on the man again. She should rather find something to do to gain some financial independence.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have a question for you, and it is bothering me. Who made the law that family planning should be only for women when a couple decides not to have children again?
From my research, I have realised that women go through so many complications when trying to do family planning. My auntie died from tubal ligation, and that is a sickness related to family planning.
On the other hand, some men will always blame women for unwanted pregnancies, forgetting that they also have a role to play when it comes to family planning.
Why should it always be women endangering their lives? Some women bloat, others bleed non-stop because of family planning.
My question now is this: can men also go in for vasectomy?
Ayele, Osu.
Dear Ayele,
Your question is very interesting and can generate an unending debate.
Family planning should not be a woman’s burden alone. It is unfair to put all the responsibility and risk on women when both partners are equally involved in decision-making.
In my opinion, both couples should have access to information, resources, and healthcare to make informed decisions about their reproductive health.
The fact that your auntie died from a tubal ligation is heartbreaking, and it is a stark reminder of the risks women take.
Vasectomy is a simple, safe, and effective option for men. It is time for men to step up and take responsibility in family planning.
Not only can it prevent unwanted pregnancies, but it also shows respect for a partner’s health and well-being.
Couples should have open and honest discussions about family planning and be ready to share responsibility.
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