Obaa Yaa
My decision to marry worries my parents
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Though I love my girlfriend and would like to marry her, my parents are not in favour of our relationship.
We have been in a relationship for five years and have decided to marry despite the disagreement of my parents.
My parents used several tricks including influencing many relatives to discourage me from going ahead to marry my lover but all have failed since I will go by my plan to marry this lady.
One of the most recent deceit was to discourage me on the grounds that the lady cannot conceive due to her previous relationship.
It is quite interesting to note that my girlfriend has not had any previous relationship to justify their claims that she is incapable of conceiving.
Despite all problems, I am still willing to marry this pretty lady and build my family with her.
Should I go ahead with my decision?
Samuel, Accra.
Dear Samuel,
Your problem is a general one which a lot of youth are confronted with.
Though marriage is contracted between two lovers, the consent or the approval of parents is important for peace to prevail.
Despite the differences in opinion between you and your parents, there is the need to smoke the peace pipe so that you can enjoy their support, love and care. With this, your wife- to-be will feel happy in the marriage.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
