Obaa Yaa
He promised to pay my school fees
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are young graduates who are seriously in love and would like to be married if our plans go through successfully.
Additionally, we are working under the same employer but in different departments and districts.
We very much understand each other, offer assistance and support in any kind when necessary.
Though we hail from different parts of the country, we have agreed that ethnicity should not be an impediment in our resolve to get married at the appropriate time.
Eager to know each other’s parents per our schedule, she took the initiative by taking me to her hometown, where i was received with joy with the assurance that i was always welcome to the family.
Unfortunately, the scenario with my parents has presented the exact opposite as my father is vehemently against our relationship, with the explanation that he would not permit me to marry from that tribe.
As fast as she is, she has been able to interpret the body language of my father indicating that she is not welcome in the family.
She was unhappy about my father’s attitude towards her and for that matter would like to know whether she would be accepted in the family.
Should i tell her the truth, and how do i convince my father to rescind his decision?
Kwame, Koforidua.
Dear Kwame,
We normally seek the blessings of our parents who are our first teachers on earth before we embark on any serious venture. When they give their consent, blessings and good fortunes follow us in our activities. But when the contrary happens, frustrations, misunderstandings and mistrust set in our relationship, a situation which does not promote peace, harmony and development.
Your father should give his reasons to back his disapproval not leave it in vacuum.
There is the need for you to convince your father personally or through some close relatives who possess mediation skills to let your father know that since there are imperfections in the world, he has to bless your marriage to succeed.
It could also be that the signals might not be the true reflections of his misgivings.
Tell your father about the good qualities of this lady, how resourceful she is and the immense assistance you will gain in marrying her.
Do not take offence with your father because of his disapproval but remain calm and control the emotions of your lady. Above all, do not tell her about the true picture on the ground, though she could guess.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
