Obaa Yaa
Signals are worrying
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been lovers for five years and hopeful that things will improve to enable us to be married. Our relationship has passed through memorable and rough times, yet we have managed to sustain it till now.
Now that we have planned to marry, certain unpleasant developments are showing up their ugly heads which give me cause to worry.
There are reports from reliable sources that my lady had a child with a classmate but has refused to disclose this information to me despite repeated appeals to her to tell me the truth.
After this report, l have received confirmation from another person which has now given me a free mind to make a definite decision to end the relationship for good.
It is my view that since she has not been faithful to me from the beginning, nothing will convince me that she will change her character when we are married.
Once l have made this decision, I will not stop from carrying it out.
Kwabena-Kasoa,
Dear Kwabena,
Though you have decided to end the relationship, I will urge you not to rely solely on the information received from these two sources, because it is possible the first person who made the disclosure to you could influence the second person to narrate the same story to serve as a confirmation of the earlier one.
What you have to do is to take your time to investigate and avoid making hasty decisions at this crucial time. It will not be out of place to reveal the detailed information you have received about her past life.
It is, indeed, true that as you prepare to marry, you should eliminate all bottlenecks in your relationship and straighten your path.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
