Obaa Yaa
Should we give up on our childlessness?
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our marriage which had received the consent of both families started on a good note which made us to be happy and excited. We were filled with optimism that things would be well after our honeymoon to enable us to enjoy life to its fullest.
Unfortunately, after two years of marriage, we discovered that the much sought-after pregnancy was not forthcoming. Initially, we presumed the delay could be as a result of anxiety and urging from families and friends.
During my wife’s first visit to the hospital, the doctor told her to relax since it was not too late for her to conceive. However, having waited till the seventh year, our patience was beginning to run out and frustration set in.
Several checks conducted at the hospital on both of us have proved that we were capable of giving birth, but it was inexplicable why the delay had persisted all these years.
Having waited almost 10 years in great expectation, we are beginning to throw our hands in despair and see how nature will treat us.
Within this stressful period, l had calls from relatives, friends and associates about the need to marry another woman in order to raise children for the family. In the same vein my wife also had many promptings and pieces of advice from those close to her.
I must indicate that my wife has taken different medications prescribed by different doctors but all to no avail.
As humans, the more we hear such promptings or urgings, the more disturbed we become and this is affecting our trust in God.
We are currently confused and not sure of what to do with our lives as a couple.
Daniel-Accra.
Dear Daniel,
Some couples have serious challenges in their marriages and it takes those who are prayerful, dedicated and spirit-filled to go through trials and difficulties and still remain united.
You ought to be commended for defying the urging from others but standing by each other in these difficult times and hoping against hope.
The point must be made that you are not in this trouble alone since many are also facing similar problems in their marriages, but still moving along.
Having come this far, it is likely your doctor will prescribe other medications to help solve your problem. What you ought to do is to stick to the prescription of the doctor and you will be successful.
You can overcome your problem because l know of a couple who had stayed more than 10 years before the first pregnancy, and this was followed by two others in succession.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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