Obaa Yaa
Signals are worrying
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been lovers for five years and hopeful that things will improve to enable us to be married. Our relationship has passed through memorable and rough times, yet we have managed to sustain it till now.
Now that we have planned to marry, certain unpleasant developments are showing up their ugly heads which give me cause to worry.
There are reports from reliable sources that my lady had a child with a classmate but has refused to disclose this information to me despite repeated appeals to her to tell me the truth.
After this report, l have received confirmation from another person which has now given me a free mind to make a definite decision to end the relationship for good.
It is my view that since she has not been faithful to me from the beginning, nothing will convince me that she will change her character when we are married.
Once l have made this decision, I will not stop from carrying it out.
Kwabena-Kasoa,
Dear Kwabena,
Though you have decided to end the relationship, I will urge you not to rely solely on the information received from these two sources, because it is possible the first person who made the disclosure to you could influence the second person to narrate the same story to serve as a confirmation of the earlier one.
What you have to do is to take your time to investigate and avoid making hasty decisions at this crucial time. It will not be out of place to reveal the detailed information you have received about her past life.
It is, indeed, true that as you prepare to marry, you should eliminate all bottlenecks in your relationship and straighten your path.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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