Obaa Yaa
He has set spies on me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I entered a relationship three years ago and things were moving on well and we were happy until recently when problems began to emerge.
Going by the advice of my mother not to fall prey to any man who would make fun of me and ruin my life for good, l tried to keep a distance from men until the one who was genuinely prepared to marry me.
This man has proposed to me and has assured me that he is not married and has no child, but l am afraid because l don’t know much about him and having considered his age, l think he must be hiding something under his sleeves.
He has given me the assurance that he would officially seek the consent of my parents to marry me.
However, my concern is, he has set spies on me and they are always checking every step l take and would not give me a breathing space.
They have wrongly accused me of things l have not done, thereby, giving me a bad image in the eyes of the public.
This has given me the reasonto believe that this man does not trust me and has ridiculed me.
Since the element of trust is non- existent, l would like to end the relationship.
Akos, Accra.
Dear Akos,
A lasting relationship is normally built on love, trust, tolerance and willingness to forgive the other partner.
It beats my imagination why this gentleman should set spies on you. On the contrary, it could be that this action is in reaction to an issue which might have happened in the past for which he would like to be careful in order to safeguard his interest in you.
You should let him understand how embarrassed you are about the spies he has set on you. If things continue like this while you are yet to marry, then one can imagine how the future will be if you become a couple.
Secondly, it could be that he is a jealous person who has taken the wrong step by trying to over-protect you through unfaithful friends.
Listen to your conscience and decide on the right action to take in this relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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