Obaa Yaa
Should l go into this marriage?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We became friends after a strange encounter at a gathering when a lady collapsed and we assisted in rushing her to the hospital.
The promptness with which he came to the aid of the lady moved me and from that time, we called often to find out how the other person was doing. Our conversations centred on general welfare issues, old school pranks and anything conceivable that was of interest.
With time, our conversations changed to more intimate matters and l was not surprised when he proposed love to me.
l was initially hesitant to give an outright response since l did not know much about him.
I tried getting a little background information about him since it was suicidal to move into a relationship with next to nothing knowledge about a life-partner, but that was not possible.
Unfortunately, those who were close to him did not know him through and through and this made me to be worried.
Should l go into this marriage?
Mary, Akim Oda.
Dear Mary,
It is necessary and appropriate to step into an unknown future with much trepidation because life is full of uncertainties, surprises and challenges.
Though the description of how the two of you met is quite moving, you ought to be careful since some appearances could be deceptive. People were able to hide certain characteristics and secrets from their partners but this eventually got to the public domain.
You can get information from his close friends, those he works with and in his locality.
The decision you have taken is good though, there are instances one is not able to get any information to guide one’s decision. In such a case one has to accept the proposal and trust God that things will be good.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
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