Obaa Yaa
My husband feels too shy for my liking
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our marriage is blessed with a child and things are going on well with us. All this while, l have realised that my husband is the shy-looking type who finds it difficult to stand up when issues crop up among his peers.
During little domestic squabbles, he will hardly talk to explain his point and it looks as though l am the one who talks too much or the one who is all the time causing trouble.
I feel uneasy whenever my husband fails to defend the family or himself in public, a situation which forces me to step in to speak.
Since he is the man and the head of the family, he should sit up and do what men are capable of doing but he woefully fails in this direction and l am always embarrassed.
I am contemplating leaving the marriage since the embarrassment is ceaselessly mounting.
Dorothy, Koforidua.
Dear Dorothy,
I don’t think your issue should be considered the type which should warrant a divorce. I can discern from your letter that your husband is a quiet person who finds it difficult to talk at home, let alone in public.
He is the type of person who keeps matters within and would not like to voice out his concerns. In view of that you must try to cope with his attitude since that is his nature.
What you ought to do is to consider yourself blessed since this is a shortcoming you can easily cope with so long as you remain a couple.
Others have serious challenges in their marriages, like enduring severe beatings and other types of spousal abuses, yet they still move on.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
