Obaa Yaa
My husband feels too shy for my liking
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our marriage is blessed with a child and things are going on well with us. All this while, l have realised that my husband is the shy-looking type who finds it difficult to stand up when issues crop up among his peers.
During little domestic squabbles, he will hardly talk to explain his point and it looks as though l am the one who talks too much or the one who is all the time causing trouble.
I feel uneasy whenever my husband fails to defend the family or himself in public, a situation which forces me to step in to speak.
Since he is the man and the head of the family, he should sit up and do what men are capable of doing but he woefully fails in this direction and l am always embarrassed.
I am contemplating leaving the marriage since the embarrassment is ceaselessly mounting.
Dorothy, Koforidua.
Dear Dorothy,
I don’t think your issue should be considered the type which should warrant a divorce. I can discern from your letter that your husband is a quiet person who finds it difficult to talk at home, let alone in public.
He is the type of person who keeps matters within and would not like to voice out his concerns. In view of that you must try to cope with his attitude since that is his nature.
What you ought to do is to consider yourself blessed since this is a shortcoming you can easily cope with so long as you remain a couple.
Others have serious challenges in their marriages, like enduring severe beatings and other types of spousal abuses, yet they still move on.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
