Obaa Yaa
l feel shy to propose to her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I read your column every week and l find it interesting and educative. This will surely help the young ones to shape their lives. The sort of complex letters you have receive d and the soothing solutions you offer to people in distress is quite encouraging.
I am in love with a lady who was my study-mate in the university and l attend the same church with her. She is a chorister while l serve as an usher.
Having been in her company for some years, l have realised that she is a hard working lady, very meticulous about details and l can conclude that she will be a good wife.
Unfortunately, l find it difficult to disclose my intention to her because l am afraid that she may turn down my marriage proposal, a situation which can possibly end our friendship.
I feel reluctant because our conversations have not centred on issues pertaining to marriage.
What step do you suggest l take?
John, Kumasi.
Dear John,
I wish to thank you for the passion you have for this column and for making time to read it every week. Indeed, your long-standing friendship as school mates and to church among others has given you a better knowledge about what this lady is worth and capable of doing.
Just as you are observing her as some who posses these enviable qualities, so is another gentleman also taking steps to propose to her if that is not done already. l suggest that you must go by the popular adage which says, “Make haste while the sun shines”.
If you are not careful, your proposal will be too late. Additionally, your long association with her should give you the added advantage and the courage to propose to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
