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 Why do you want to get married?

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• A young girl feeling lonely

A young girl feeling lonely

Before you say ‘I do’, my ques­tion to you is: Why do you want to get married?

Let us look at some of the con­scious or unconscious reasons some people get married. These include (stated in their own words):

• An African couple
• An African couple

1. I am growing old; therefore, I have to marry.

2. My family, friends and society are putting pressure on me to marry.

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3. My friends are all marrying; I’m the only one who is not yet married.

4. I need to wear a wedding ring too.

5. Nobody respects me because I am not yet married.

6. We have been together for too long; I have to marry him (or her).

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7. If I marry my partner, the problems in our relationship will stop.

8. I want to host a big wedding recep­tion and party as well.

9. I have to marry to prove some peo­ple wrong.

10. I feel lonely and alone.

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11. I am pregnant (or my girlfriend is pregnant).

12. We have children together.

13. I have to marry for financial and economic reasons.

14. I’m seriously attracted to his (or her) physical looks and stature.

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15. I just love him (or her).

Do you align yourself with any of these reasons I have mentioned?

Although these reasons sound good and harmless; yet, these are some of the unfortunate reasons many people get married. No wonder the divorce rate keeps skyrocketing with each passing month and year.

On regular basis—in my practice—I meet couples or individuals who are struggling in their love relationships. Many times, a lot of them are either courting, married or thinking about getting married. There’re times when I wish I could just be direct or scream as loud as I could in these words, “Do not do it!” to some of them who’re about to get married. This is because when you get married for the wrong reasons, the consequences are too unbearable and frustrating.

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1. I am growing old; therefore, I have to marry

This is one of the common reasons some singles crave for marriage. Many women, particularly those of a cer­tain age bracket, have believed the narrative that no one will marry them because of their age.

They are afraid of staying single for life, and perhaps you are also wor­ried about never getting married as you get older. As a woman, you might feel scared, and if a man who doesn’t possess the right marriage qualities shows interest in you, you might feel the urge to hold on to him.

This desperate feeling of losing one’s last chance at love can force you to settle for anyone who comes your way, just to avoid loneliness.

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2. My family, friends and society are putting pressure on me to marry

Even though it is a fact that some family members and friends put pres­sure on their single loved ones to get married; yet, marrying solely on the basis of pressure you are receiving from those you love can be dangerous and risky.

Unfortunately, after one crosses a certain age such as 28, society makes singlehood look rather unappealing and unpleasant, as though it’s an abomination not to marry.

To such an extent that for many singles, communal life starts to with­er; you may start to feel like a freak when going to certain social events alone (e.g. wedding, marriage anni­versaries, parties, etc.).

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Never allow pressure from your family, friends and society to push you into marrying someone that you’ll later regret for marrying.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Psychotherapist and Marriage Ther­apist).

Author, Psychotherapist, Psychol­ogist, Marriage Therapist & Rever­end Minister

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Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC)

www.spectator.com.gh

Your Weekend

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Weekly Horoscope

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Aries

You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!

Taurus

Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.

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Gemini

Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.

Cancer

Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.

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Leo

Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.

Virgo

Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.

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Libra

Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.

Scorpio

You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.

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Sagittarius

It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light

Capricorn

Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.

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Aquarius

You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.

Pisces

This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?

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Seeing the child, not the label: Supporting children, teens with ADHD

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Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.

 Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort. 

The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing. 

Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards. 

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Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding. 

Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label. 

Resource

• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486   

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Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.

WEBSITES:

https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author                     

https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website

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