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When cometh another Felix?–Tribute to a bosom friend
“When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with too many tears,
But be thankful we had so many good years.
I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you’ve given me in happiness.
I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I travelled on alone.
So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It is only for a while we must part,
So treasure the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away for life goes on.
And if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see or touch me, I will be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,
All my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile and a ‘Welcome Home.’ ”
― Robert Bryndza
I am heartbroken by the loss of my bosom friend which occurred about five weeks ago. I am, however, honoured to have the opportunity to reflect on his life today.
Indeed, readers, it is very important that we acknowledge and fully experience the emotions of this moment, on which I have earmarked to say goodbye to Felix Ameni Annoh-Quarshie, my companion, my soul mate and my confidant.
It is fascinating to note that my good friend Felix might have foreseen his call to eternity before it actually occurred. As a Realist and a mystic man, I believe so, because of what my friend and brother said to me about three-quarters of a year ago.
Uncharacteristic of him, Felix stormed my office unannounced early this year with the intention of coming to congratulate me on my elevation to the position of the Editor of The Spectator last November. I recalled, vividly, something intriguing happened when he entered my new office, and I now comprehend why he did so.
At the time, I was writing a tribute of a senior colleague journalist who had passed on the eve of Christmas day, last year. Strangely, Felix walked straight to where I was sitting, ignoring my beckoning to him to sit, and corked his sharp-looking eyes at the screen of my desktop computer for a brief period.
Unexpected of him, he quietly but emotionally said: “Kwapay (as l am affectionately called), if I go (die) before you go, please, write the same intro for me in your tribute, ‘wati’.” “Why?” I asked. “Because, the poem you used as the intro for your colleague is very insightful, very discerning and very deep,” he replied with a baritone voice. I swiftly retorted, “You’re not going to die anytime soon, bro.” But, he insisted, and I gave him a weak nod.
As if by design, today, Felix’s body lies motionless at a funeral home at Haatso in Accra, awaiting burial at the Madina Cemetery next Saturday.
Felix came into my life about 45 years ago, and the first day we met, in Accra, instantly, we realised it was going to be a long journey of intimate friendship. Little wonder, we found ourselves living as neighbours at Madina a few years later. It was semi-detached apartments belonging to his mother. My parents had moved in from Burma Camp; he had relocated from a bungalow situated near Sankara Circle, where his father and stepmother, both senior police officers, and his siblings resided. Sincerely, I didn’t know it was his family property until the day he moved in to join his mother, a retired staff of the University of Ghana, Legon.
Hence, our friendship gained roots, very solid and firm to the extent that we were even sharing the same room. I nicknamed him ‘Adjei Koti’, because his Sankara-based parents were police officers; he nicknamed me ‘Kwapay’, claiming it was another name for Kwabena (we were both born on Tuesday), which I doubted, though, but accepted it to satisfy him.
Young Felix was a staff of Barclays Bank (now Absa Bank); I was a pupil teacher at Labone Preparatory School at Madina, but later enrolled at the Ghana Institute of Journalism in Accra, and passed out successfully to become a Sports Writer for Ghanaian Times. Felix introduced me to the driver of their staff bus that I was his younger brother, so he permitted me to board the bus to Sankara Circle and continued from there to New Times Corporation, near Kwame Nkrumah Circle, where I work to date.
He was not a church fan, but I managed to convince him to join me to my church, Queen of Peace Catholic Parish at Madina Old Road every Sunday for first Mass. In spite of our busy schedule, we joined one of the Madina football teams, Islamic Stars and played in the Legon-Madina Football League at the third division level. He played centre back, because he was over six feet; I played right/left half back. The blend was fluid, and it was marvellous to watch us play.
As our friendship kept growing, it suffered a setback. I vividly recollect it was a rainy Saturday evening when my parents called us to announce their decision to relocate with me to an area near Ritz Junction, on the border between Madina and Adenta. The tears that flowed from our eyes upon receiving the ‘bad’ news was so infectious that, it even compelled my mother to shed tears also
It was a tragic time for Felix and I. So this friendship, the most important things we have had in our lives, was going to crash? The invaluable love and support we got from our friendship was about to collapse? These were the questions that popped up in our minds, and it was conspicuously reflected on our sad faces as we tried to cope with the news.
However, we had the belief that, it had been ordained by the oracle, that our friendship was never to be put apart, it could only happen temporarily, but not for long. The D-day finally came, and I left with my parents for our new place.
Incredibly, a few weeks after our relocation, Felix relocated also to our area, about two minutes walk away from where we lived. Initially, my parents and I thought Felix was only joking, when he broke the news to us. But it was not an ‘April Fool’ statement he made.
Apparently, he had moved into his father’s new house, ahead of the rest of the family. We hugged each other immediately after the good news broke, and tears of joy flowed, reinforcing the bond of friendship that existed between the two of us
My narration cannot be complete, if I fail to recount how Felix decided to spend the rest of his life with Hetty, his dear wife. It all started when he was transferred to their Kotoka International Airport (KIA) branch. Hetty was a staff of M&J Travel and Tour at their KIA office. I joined Felix at the airport every working day, so we returned home together, because he worked late into the night. He worked until the last flight of the night arrived before he closed.
One evening, he expressed his intention of proposing to Hetty, if only I gave the green light. We agreed I scrutinise only her ‘vital statistics’ and give my findings and recommendation, because he knew her character already.
Apparently, he knew her, because she was a school mate of his younger sister, Jemima. According to Felix, Hetty used to pay Jemima a visit at their Sankara residence, and got to know that she was a serious ‘Chrife’ just as his sister. So, the only confirmation he needed from me was whether her ‘vital statistics’ were standard. As an experienced examiner, I inspected thoroughly, and she got full marks. Highly motivated by the recommendation, Felix expressed interest in her which she agreed. They started a serious romantic relationship before Felix took her to the altar. Their marriage was blessed with two beautiful children, Felix Jnr and Janice.
Felix was an introvert but easy-going. I am extrovert and easy-going, too. He hardly shared his secrets with friends or family members, except me.
Certainly, it is very devastating when you lose a friend, who is so close to you, to death, the inevitable. The pain of losing Felix, a man so important and special to me, cannot be overstated. Indeed, death has unfairly torn us from our lives. But I would find some relief in the fact that others have gone through a similar bereavement, and have felt the same emotions I am experiencing at the moment. Maybe, that should inspire me to feel less alone.
As Robert Southey, a poet laureate, said: “The loss of a friend is like that of a limb; time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired.”
So, rest in perfect peace, Felix, and may the Almighty God keep you in His bosom until the last days of resurrection when we shall meet again. Amen.
By Emmanuel Amponsah
ALL these forms of responsibility are sustained by one central pillar: spiritual and moral discipline. Without it, knowledge becomes pride, power becomes oppression, and freedom becomes chaos.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The strong man is not the one who overcomes others by his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Bukhari, Hadith 6114)
This control taqwā is the root of responsibility. Imam Al-Ghazali (1105) in Ihya Ulum al-Din wrote that the purification of the soul (tazkiyah al-nafs) is the foundation of all reform. A responsible man disciplines his desires, guards his words, and acts with sincerity, even when no one is watching.
We live in an era of temptation — social media, materialism, and moral relativism challenge our values. But men of faith must rise above these influences and remember that Allah is Al-Raqīb — the Ever-Watchful. Spiritual accountability anchors moral behaviour.
8. Emotional and psychological responsibility
Responsibility also includes taking care of one’s mental and emotional well-being. Many men suffer silently under the burden of expectation — believing that showing emotion is weakness.
Yet, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم shed tears, expressed compassion, and sought counsel.
Psychologist Aaron Beck (1976) in Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders emphasised that emotional maturity begins with self-awareness, recognising one’s feelings, and managing them constructively.
Group counselling sessions like this are essential; they help men share, heal, and grow together. No man should walk alone; strength is not isolation, but the courage to seek support. Let us normalise counselling, mentorship, and brotherhood among men. For in unity, we find healing; in shared wisdom, we find growth.
9. The five questions of accountability
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The feet of the son of Adam shall not move on the Day of Resurrection before he is asked about five things:
- His life — how he lived it;
- His youth — how he used it;
- His wealth — how he earned it and how he spent it;
- His knowledge — how he acted upon it.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2416; also reported in al-Darimi)
This hadith captures the essence of personal accountability — the cornerstone of responsibility in Islam. It reminds every believer that every blessing carries a duty, and every stage of life demands conscious action.
Let’s break it down:
- “His life — how he lived it”
Life is a divine trust (amānah). A responsible man lives with purpose, not pleasure as his goal. He invests his time in doing good, serving others, and seeking Allah’s pleasure. - “His youth — how he used it”
Youth is the most energetic and creative phase — and thus the most accountable. As Ibn al-Qayyim noted in Madarij al-Salikin, “The strength of youth is a blessing, and blessings invite responsibility.” Men must use their youth to build character, gain knowledge, and resist destructive habits. - “His wealth — how he earned it and how he spent it”
Financial integrity is a key part of manhood. Islam demands transparency, fairness, and generosity. The Qur’an warns against wastefulness: “Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils.” (Qur’an 17:27) A responsible man earns lawfully, gives in charity, and spends wisely. - “His knowledge — how he acted upon it”
Knowledge is meaningless if not practiced. Imam Al-Ghazali wrote that knowledge without action is a burden, not a blessing. A responsible man translates his learning into character, leadership, and service.
This Hadith teaches that responsibility in Islam is total and it covers time, energy, wealth, and knowledge. It’s not only about what we achieve, but how we live, how we give, and how we grow.
10. Summary
Responsibility, therefore, is not a single act but a lifestyle — one that touches every sphere of life:
- Educational responsibility empowers us to think and serve.
- Marital and family responsibility keeps our homes strong.
- Environmental responsibility safeguards our future.
- Civic responsibility builds our nation.
- Moral and spiritual responsibility sustains our integrity.
- Emotional responsibility maintains our well-being.
A responsible man is thus an educated mind, a loving heart, a disciplined spirit, and a servant leader. He is not perfect, but he is purposeful.
11. Conclusion
My brothers, as we look toward the future, let us remember the divine reminder:
“The believers, men and women, are protectors of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.” (Qur’an 9:71)
Our communities are counting on us — our sisters, mothers, and children look to us for leadership and example. Let us not disappoint them. When we build responsible men today, we build a Ghana that is peaceful, prosperous, and principled.
Let us be men of knowledge and humility, strength and compassion, faith and fairness. And may Allah grant us the wisdom to lead ourselves before we lead others. Āmīn.
Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, Kpone Katmanso Municipal Chief Imam, governance expert and certified counselor.
By Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai
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Today, I focus on Ghanaian/African migrants in Finland and their mental health. Mental health is an important subject and a huge problem in the world.
According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), brain health is the state of brain functioning across cognitive, sensory, social-emotional, behavioural and motor domains, allowing a person to realise their full potential over the life course, irrespective of the presence or absence of disorders.
Studies have shown that maternal and paternal distress are associated with reduced linear growth of their children. I recently participated in a seminar on mental health among (African) migrants in Finland. We all wondered about the prevalence or incidence of mental illness among migrants in Finland. It will be interesting to know the statistics about mental illness among migrants in Finland.
Mental health in Finland
In Finland, studies have examined how behavioural risk factors mediate the effects of childhood disadvantage on adult psychological distress. A correlation is shown between parent and infant psychotherapy on maternal mental health and psychological functioning and children’s welfare.
There are also research and other reports of social child welfare interventions where at times children are even taken away (child removals) from the parent or parents for safe keeping.
Experts say it is important how parents plan their leaves in order to renew or rebuild their mental strength to be able to take good care of their kids.
Anyway, studies are limited about parent-child psychological distress and situations where children are taken away from their parents among minorities, such as African migrants. It will be interesting to know the figures and other aspects of mental health issues among the migrant group(s) in Finland.
Health and migrant vulnerability
Health experts point out that migrant communities can be highly vulnerable to diseases, especially certain infectious diseases. Experts say those who came to Finland as refugees or asylum seekers and their family members are often in a more vulnerable position in terms of their health (see www.thl.fi).
Research and media reports have shown in many countries that there are structural or societal/cultural factors that result in quite high rates of infection or ill-health among migrants, when compared to the majority population.
It is suggested that for example language barrier, lack of information, the nature of the work of migrants in professions where working from home is not possible (for example during the Covid-19 pandemic), not accessing healthcare, etc. can present some of the factors for migrants’ vulnerability to diseases and infections.
Childhood disadvantage
Information about the issue. Such a situation was much evidenced to reduce stress and anxiety during the coronavirus situation.
Thus, these associations and institutions become networks that create an important social capital as well as outlets for sharing and gaining information or knowledge.
Finland is committed to the integration of migrants into the Finnish society, as I keep pointing out. A number of research studies from surveys and other in-depth enquiries have shown a trend of increasing efforts to integrate African and other migrants into the Finnish society.
As the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare (THL) has pointed out, health and wellbeing are an important part of integration of immigrants in Finland (see www.thl.fi).
There have been studies on whether behavioural risk factors mediate the effects of childhood disadvantage on adult psychological distress and child welfare intervention by social services. Unhealthy behaviours and their associations with subsequent sickness among Finnish young and early midlife employees have been studied.
When it comes to this subject and/or the effect of adult psychological distress on children’s wellbeing among African migrants in Finland, there is limited knowledge.
We should hope for more information to augment understandings about adult psychological distress and effect on children’s wellbeing among African migrants in order to inform policy directions.
Such studies will help to create awareness among migrants in Finland about their mental health, its effect on them and their children’s wellbeing, as well as where to seek therapy.
Migrant associations, social networks, and information
Migrants associations are already doing much to help in education on mental health and have become important points for securing. Public agencies, migrant associations and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) in Finland have been publishing information to help educate people about their health and wellbeing.
Generally, migrant associations formally create awareness among their members and other migrants usually in collaboration with some Finnish institutions, and are thus an important tool for several migrants to be positively active and to get their interests and claims heard.
As I wrote previously, the role of migrant associations acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland. Thank you!
By Perpetual Crentsil
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