Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back?
Should l take her back?
We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with the blessings of our parents including our friends.
They described our union as an unbreakable bond of friendship which became the envy of many people.
As our love for each other grew over time, we had the blessings of our parents to marry.
Feverish preparations were made and we were looking forward to a memorable traditional marriage to be followed by a grand wedding ceremony.
However, a few months to the scheduled date, l realised my fiancé’s character had changed to my surprise.
Upon persistent pressure mounted on her to find out the reason behind her attitude, she was bold to tell me that someone else had proposed to her and she would marry him instead of me.
Having considered several factors and upon fervent prayers, l gave in to her decision and she went ahead to marry the man of her choice.
Though downhearted, l was able to pick up the pieces and settled down to marry another lady with an impeccable character.
Four years down the lane, one day my old fiancé called my phone for a lengthy discussion and she later followed up with many visits to my office.
To be brief, her marriage is now on the rocks and she is pleading that though l am married, l should take her as a second wife.
She visits me often, trying to woe me back but l am not moved since l am now married. I have decided to consider her as a family friend, and nothing more to that.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
I respect you for the high level of resilience you have put up in the midst of such a challenging experience.
Though others could have been swept off their feet to do the contrary, you persisted and gracefully succeeded with ease.
You have done the right thing by not neglecting her totally. You have also done well by accepting her as a family friend and nothing more to that.
Having taken this decision, make sure you go by it and do not allow yourself to be swayed by the relentless efforts of this old lover of yours who is capable of going to all lengths to win your love back.
Know your limitations and stick to your principles to remain unperturbed.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
