Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back?
Should l take her back?
We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with the blessings of our parents including our friends.
They described our union as an unbreakable bond of friendship which became the envy of many people.
As our love for each other grew over time, we had the blessings of our parents to marry.
Feverish preparations were made and we were looking forward to a memorable traditional marriage to be followed by a grand wedding ceremony.
However, a few months to the scheduled date, l realised my fiancé’s character had changed to my surprise.
Upon persistent pressure mounted on her to find out the reason behind her attitude, she was bold to tell me that someone else had proposed to her and she would marry him instead of me.
Having considered several factors and upon fervent prayers, l gave in to her decision and she went ahead to marry the man of her choice.
Though downhearted, l was able to pick up the pieces and settled down to marry another lady with an impeccable character.
Four years down the lane, one day my old fiancé called my phone for a lengthy discussion and she later followed up with many visits to my office.
To be brief, her marriage is now on the rocks and she is pleading that though l am married, l should take her as a second wife.
She visits me often, trying to woe me back but l am not moved since l am now married. I have decided to consider her as a family friend, and nothing more to that.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
I respect you for the high level of resilience you have put up in the midst of such a challenging experience.
Though others could have been swept off their feet to do the contrary, you persisted and gracefully succeeded with ease.
You have done the right thing by not neglecting her totally. You have also done well by accepting her as a family friend and nothing more to that.
Having taken this decision, make sure you go by it and do not allow yourself to be swayed by the relentless efforts of this old lover of yours who is capable of going to all lengths to win your love back.
Know your limitations and stick to your principles to remain unperturbed.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
