Should l marry his friend?

Published

2 years ago

November 25, 2023

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for two years and were happy from the beginning.

At that time, my happiness was the utmost desire of my husband but suddenly he began to disassociate himself from anything that concerns my happiness.

I am a pharmacist and my husband works at a reputable company.

Though my husband is very supportive and hardworking, his current behaviour has started to affect me greatly, and I am beginning to lose interest in him.

I met this new friend who has shown interest in me and does everything possible to make sure that I am always happy.

I am beginning to develop feelings and affections for him, and even considering to marry him so that I can achieve my happiness.

Should I go ahead and marry him or I should wait for my husband with the hope that he will change?

Roberta, Accra

****

Dear Roberta,

There is no situation that is permanent in this world so you must be prepared to accept the fact that people can change over time.

Since your husband was very supportive, loving and caring from the beginning but has suddenly changed, you must be sincere to yourself and find out whether your behaviour has caused him to change.

Though your friend has been good to you and ensured that you are happy, that should not lead to marriage.

So far as you are still married to your husband, you will compound your problem if you go ahead and marry this gentleman.

First of all, it will destroy the relationship between the three of you.

What is the guarantee that the love this gentleman is expressing will last? Have you forgotten how your husband loved you at the beginning of your relationship?

Do not take any hasty decision because you can’t tell what will happen in future.

Your husband could change while this gentleman could be a pretender, an opportunist or something else.

A pretender will exhibit his true character when he gets what he is looking for.

Kindly hold onto what you have, no matter how bad it may look.

He introduced me wrongly

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

Amevi, Ho.

Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.