Obaa Yaa
She says she is high-class
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old boy in one of the best universities in Ghana. I met a sweet, loving and kind girlfriend on campus who I love and cherish so much.
Unfortunately, she has started exhibiting a ‘high-class’ lady lifestyle on campus which has become a major concern to me.
She is always buying expensive clothes and accessories, and I have no idea about the source of the money.
I am also aware she can’t raise that money because she does not work and she’s not from a rich family either.
In fact, because of her background, I sometimes help her out with her school fees so I keep wondering where she gets that money to maintain her ‘high- class’ status.
I have confronted her about it severally and we always end up having a terrible argument.
I fear she is keeping ‘Sugar daddies’, though she keeps denying it each time I ask her about the source of the money.
She once claimed she earns the money from her holiday jobs.
Please help me solve this problem.
Gideon, Tamale.
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Dear Gideon,
Your girlfriend is an intriguing character. She may be telling the truth about getting the money from her holiday jobs.
Meanwhile, if you feel she is not telling you the whole truth and you suspect there may be more to it, you can talk to her calmly and educate her on the need to save some money.
You can let her know that the way she is spending the money is not the best and that, she was wasting the money on frivolous things.
As for having ‘Sugar daddies’, it is automatic that she might keep one if her friends on campus have some.
The best thing to do is for you to maintain a level head and do not let the situation affect your academic performance. If all efforts prove abortive, which is possible, break up with her, put your energy into your studies and focus on a brighter future.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
