Obaa Yaa
She has set spies on me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a Christian brother of one of the churches in Accra. I am 28 and she is 22 and an apprentice in a salon.
Both of us attend the same church and we have finally decided to tie the knot.
She is been catered for by her two brothers who considers her to be too young for marriage.
Both brothers asked me to stay away from their sister because she is still young and has a long way to go.
I confronted her about the actions of his brothers. Her response was that we should end the relationship.
She told me point blank to find another woman and marry because her two brothers were against the marriage.
Ironically, she has set spies on me, telling my friends she will cause trouble if I don’t marry her.
Barima
Kofrom,
Dear Barima,
Are you prepared mentally, emotionally and financially to get married this year or you are getting married because of pressure from family?
Your former girlfriend is obviously hurt and still loves you that is why she has set spies on you.
But I must say her approach was wrong and immature.
I suggest you approach one of the marriage counsellors in your church and ask them to advise you and resolve the uneasiness between you and your former girlfriend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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