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Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor

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As you begin your journey of mar­riage, remember that seeking help from a professional mar­riage therapist or counsellor can be a valuable asset to your relationship.

I admit there are so many charac­teristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage ther­apist or counsellor. Therefore, I will start by introducing you to the core qualities that your marriage counsel­lor or therapist must possess:

1. Professional qualifications and credentials

Check the counsellor’s qualifica­tions, such as their educational back­ground, counselling certifications, and any specialised training in marriage counselling (for instance, Counselor Prince & Associates Consult’s ‘Cer­tificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy,’ which is accredited by Gha­na Psychology Council (GPC).

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Ensure the therapist or counsel­lor has appropriate credentials and is licensed or at least certified. For instance, if you are in Ghana, the counsellor must be licensed with the Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).

2. Rapport building and creating a welcoming atmosphere

Your marriage therapist or coun­sellor should possess the critical skills of building rapport and creating a welcoming environment for you and your partner.

Imagine you and your partner walk into a marriage counsellor’s office for the first time. You are nervous, vulnerable, and unsure about what lies ahead.

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It is important that the counsellor you choose understands the value of rapport building and creating a warm and inviting space for you both.

Rapport building is the foundation of any successful counselling relation­ship. It is all about your counsellor establishing a connection, trust, and understanding with you and your part­ner.

Creating a welcoming atmosphere goes beyond having a cozy office or providing refreshments. It is about making you and your partner feel val­ued and respected from the moment you step through the door.

Your counsellor should start by greeting you and your partner with a smile and a genuine welcome. They must show sincere concern, making it clear that your struggles matter to them.

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The counsellor must pay attention to their own body language, ensuring it conveys openness and approach­ability. For instance, a simple gesture like offering you a comfortable seat or a bottle of water can go a long way in making you feel at ease.

Finally, remember that building a rapport and creating a welcoming atmosphere is an ongoing process. That means your counsellor must con­tinuously check in with you and your partner, ask for your feedback, and adjust their approach accordingly.

3. Strong communication skills

A good marriage counsellor or therapist should have excellent active listening skills, questioning skills, clarification and reflecting skills, as well as general communication skills, just to mention a few.

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Your counsellor should be able to facilitate constructive dialogue between you and your partner.

For your counsellor to be a good listener, they must make you feel heard and understood. This means giving you undivided attention, main­taining eye contact, and responding empathically to your concerns.

The counsellor should be able to articulate his or her thoughts, wisdom and guidance to you and your partner in a clear manner.

4. Impartial and non-judgmental attitude

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The counsellor or therapist should have the ability to create a safe and non-judgmental space for you. It is essential that you and your part­ner feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of criticism or condem­nation.

A skilled counsellor should main­tain a non-judgmental and objective stance when helping you.

A professional marriage counsel­lor will remain neutral and unbiased throughout the therapeutic process. They will not take sides or favour one partner over the other.

Instead, they will listen to both of you attentively, offer insights, and guide you towards a deeper under­standing of your relationship dynam­ics. This objectivity helps ensure fairness and creates a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns.

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Remember, the journey to growth and experiencing a happy and fulfill­ing marriage begins with you feeling safe and well supported.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprin­ceass.wixsite.com/edu-counsel­ing-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC)

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Relationship

…tips for building a good parent-teacher relationship

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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.

1. Meet with the teacher and staff early

Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.

2. Help the teacher get to know your child.

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Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.

3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.

Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.

4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.

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If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class. 

5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.

Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.

6. Participate in school events.

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Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.

7. Say “thank you.”

Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.

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Building trust in relationship, marriage

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Communication is key to a successful relationship

Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble. As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?

How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?

Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish. Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.

Signs of trust issues

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So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:

– Suspicion and jealousy

– Defensiveness and accusations

– Lack of communication or withholding information

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– Dishonesty or hiding the truth

– Emotional distance or disconnection

How to build trust

Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:

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1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.

2. Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.

3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.

4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behaviour, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.

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5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.

Rebuilding Trust

If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:

1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.

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2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.

3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behaviour, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.

4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counsellor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.

Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.

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To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI (Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).

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