Obaa Yaa
New girlfriend attracts me more
Dear ObaaYaa,
We were both students in the university and though we read different courses, with time, we later became very close to each other.
The love we developed for each other grew to a stage where we could not resist our inner feelings and she became pregnant. Though embarrassed initially, I gathered courage and pleaded with her to abort the pregnancy since we were in the final year getting ready for the final examination and could not cater for a baby.
Despite her sound religious background, she did not object to my proposal and we aborted the pregnancy, though we were not happy.
Luckily, we completed successfully and l was able to secure a job after the mandatory National Service. She is yet to be employed and we have maintained the friendship till now.
Unfortunately, l am torn between her and another lady l came across in my office whose character has appealed to me and l would like to marry her instead of my former girlfriend.
What do you have to say about my decision?
Paul, Accra.
Dear Paul,
You have been in a relationship with this lady from the time you were in the university and have admitted that you went through interesting moments and took unfavourable decisions. The decision, I believe was to safeguard your interest and protect your future.
Having come this far, it will be inappropriate for you to snub this lady and marry a- new-found lover.
Abortion has rendered some women barren for life and they will continue to blame themselves for their inability to reject the decision to abort.
Should this first lady become barren, you will not know peace in your marriage and she will not also be happy.
But if you marry her, both of you can device an alternative means of solving the problem.
Since two persons cannot be the same, try to tolerate your first lover and marry her.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
