Obaa Yaa
My wife owns a three-bedroom house, but our family lives in one room
My wife owns a three-bedroom house in Accra, in a very good and convenient location. However, despite owning the house, we currently live in a one-bedroom apartment where our three children have to sleep in the hall.
After my wife won a legal case concerning the house, I assumed that we would move into it as a family. She explained that some repair works needed to be done before we could move in. I accepted this because I knew the house needed some renovation.
I later realised my wife has given out the space to a cousin. I feel that this decision should have been discussed with me, particularly because it directly affects our family’s living conditions. At the same time, I do not want this situation to turn into a fight about ownership or create unnecessary tension in our marriage.
How should I approach my wife about the situation, and what would be a fair solution for both of us and our children?
Apenteng, Kyebi
Dear Apenteng,
Your wife legally owning the house does not automatically mean that she must use it as a family home. It is reasonable for you to ask why the possibility of moving into the house was not discussed with before it was given to someone else.
I would suggest you have a good conversation with her rather that confronting her with anger.
Better still you can also try as much as possible and get a space and move out with your family if the space is not enough.
I don’t see why you are relying solely on your wife’s property.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for the past eight years, and we have two children. My husband is a teacher and I am a Bank Manageress in one of the reputable banks.
Two years ago, I lost my job, and since then, my husband has changed towards me.
He constantly insults me and makes me feel useless because I am no longer financially contributing to the family.
When things were going on well, I was supporting my husband financially and taking care of the home without any negativity attached.
Things became worse when I discovered that he was cheating on me with another woman who was financially sound than I am. When I confronted him, he showed no remorse. A few weeks later, he packed his belongings and abandoned me and the children.
Now I am struggling to take care of the children. My family is advising me to divorce him, while his family wants me to remain in the marriage.
Obaa Yaa, should I continue waiting for him or move on with my life?
Olivia, Accra
Dear Olivia,
I am sorry for what you are going through. Losing your job does not make you a failure, and your husband has no right to disrespect or abandon you because of it.
Marriage requires love, patience and support, especially during difficult times. However, you should not remain in a relationship where you are constantly mistreated.
I advise you to think carefully about your future and the well-being of your children. If your husband genuinely wants to change, he must prove it through his actions and take responsibility for his family.
Remember, marriage should bring peace, not constant suffering.
Take heart, dear sister, and never allow the fear of losing your marriage to make you lose your self-worth.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been friends with a lady for over seven years, and we have always shared our personal secrets with each other. I trusted her so much that I even introduced her to my boyfriend.
Recently, I discovered that she had been secretly dating my boyfriend.
When I confronted her, she apologised and begged me to forgive her, claiming it happened because she was lonely.
I am deeply hurt because I never expected such betrayal from someone I considered a sister. My family and other friends are advising me to end the friendship, but she keeps begging me to give her another chance.
Obaa Yaa, should I forgive her and continue the friendship, or should I cut her off completely?
Esinam, Keta
Dear Esinam,
Friendship should be built on trust, honesty and loyalty. Your friend has broken the trust you placed in her, and loneliness is no excuse for betraying someone who genuinely cares about you.
I believe forgiveness is important, but it does not mean you must continue a friendship that has caused you pain. Take your time, protect your peace and allow her actions to determine whether she deserves another chance.
Remember, not everyone who smiles with you is genuinely happy for you.
Be careful who you trust, because sometimes betrayal comes from the people closest to us.
