Obaa Yaa
My sisters disapprove of my girlfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Though we attended different universities, we were good friends and maintained the friendship until we completed school.
Having known each other for a long time, we got attached to each other and could not resist the idea to marry.
During the course of our dating, she used to visit me at home and this made it possible for my family to know her better.
On many occasions, she spent some time with my sisters in the house, even on occasions l was not at home, they discovered that she was not a good lady for me to marry.
They complained that she was lazy, would not wash dishes after her meals, failed to tidy up her surroundings among others.
My sisters added that she was not courteous and lacked manners. l was surprised to hear these complaints from them.
l believe the complaints were genuine because they were happy when l introduced her to the family the first time. What should l do?
John, Takoradi.
Dear John,
You are fortunate to discover such character traits in your fiancé at this stage before you take any definite decision in your relationship.
That is why the youth are always advised not to indulge in sexual intercourse during dating, since this has the tendency to possibly cloud your reasoning when faced with the challenge to make certain decisions in a relationship.
Since your sisters have failed in helping her to change her behaviour, l don’t know whether your intervention can help in this case. You are being cautioned about the dangers inherent in such a marriage and the possibility to reconsider your decision.
If you are able to change her character to suit your desire, then you can go ahead to marry her.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
