Obaa Yaa
My sister is a scam
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I will report my sister to the police and have her arrested if it comes to that. I gave her money for a business and she used the money to get married.
My sister called that she wanted GH¢10,000 for something urgent.
She said it was for a business she wanted to start and that the person getting her the stock to sell was in China and was asking for that amount.
I sent the money to her in two instalments. I sent GH¢5,000 first and, a week later, sent another GH¢5,000.
The next day after I’d sent the last instalment, my mom called to tell me my younger sister was getting married.
Nadia, Akosombo.
Dear Nadia,
Your anger and sense of betrayal are understandable. You lent your sister GH¢10,000 based on her claim that she needed capital to start a business, only to discover shortly afterward that she had used the money for her wedding.
Anyone in your position would feel deceived. Before involving the police, have a direct and calm conversation with her. Ask her why she misrepresented the purpose of the loan and whether she still intends to repay the money within the agreed period. Give her an opportunity to explain herself and honour her commitment.
If she acknowledges the debt, insist on a clear repayment plan, preferably in writing, stating how and when she will repay the money. This can help prevent future misunderstandings.
Since this is a family matter, consider involving trusted relatives or elders to mediate if discussions become difficult. Family relationships can be damaged permanently by legal battles, so every effort should be made to resolve the matter amicably first.
However, if your sister refuses to repay the money, denies receiving it as a loan, or continuously avoids accountability, you may seek legal advice to understand your options. Keep records of the transfers, messages, and any conversations that show the money was given as a loan.
For now, focus on seeking repayment and accountability rather than punishment. Recovering your money and preserving family relationships, if possible and that should be the primary goal.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I was 22 when Kofi and I got married. For 30 years we have toiled together.
As part of our hustling, Kofi my husband left for his ‘troski’ business at 4am while I cooked kenkey and sold it by the roadside. Every cedi that didn’t go to food went into a ‘Susu’ box under our bed.
We decided to build a house together. I carried water for the mortar. Kofi mixed it. We bought cement in bits. First the foundation, then the block house with four rooms and a shop downstairs.
Though we couldn’t make babies, Kofi loved me and gave me peace.
Kofi died out of stroke last year and life has not been easy.
One week after we buried him, his family members have come for the house and shop because we had no children together.
Yes, I had no child but I had blisters. I had receipts. I have 30 years of shared suffering and love. What should I do?
Afi, Ho
Dear Afi,
Afi, I know this hurts deeply, but don’t leave your 30 years of toil to your husband’s family. Gather every proof you have- the receipts for cement and blocks, photos of you both building, ‘Susu’ records, and statements from neighbours or the mason who saw you work together. This shows ‘joint acquisition’ and the court will consider it. Under Ghana’s Intestate Succession Law, PNDC Law 111, you have rights even without children. You are entitled to household items, part of the estate, and a life interest in the house. Custom cannot erase that. Do not sign any paper Uncle Joe brings until a lawyer has read it.
Get help right away; don’t fight this alone. Go to Legal Aid Ghana for assistance. They offer free support for women in inheritance cases. Talk to your pastor, counselor, or women’s group because this is grief on top of grief.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man sharing a rented apartment with three other guys. We rented the place together because we are all students and currently on vacation.
Recently, two of the guys travelled to their hometown, leaving only two of us in the apartment. The problem started when the other roommate brought a lady to the house. At first, I thought she was only visiting, but she has now been staying with us for several days and appears to be living here.
I have spoken to my roommate and asked him to ask the lady to leave because I am uncomfortable having someone who was not part of our original arrangement living in the apartment but he refused.
His argument is that he contributed his share of the rent, so he has the right to decide who stays with him. He says that since his money helped us secure the apartment, I cannot tell him what to do with his portion of the house.
The situation is becoming uncomfortable, and I do not want this disagreement to destroy our friendship. I also do not want to appear controlling or disrespectful.
Please, Obaa Yaa, am I wrong to ask him to send the lady away?
Nana Yaw Frimpong, Accra
Dear Nana Yaw Frimpong,
You are not wrong for feeling uncomfortable. The main issue is not that your roommate has a girlfriend; it is that a shared apartment is being used by an additional person without the agreement of the other people who live there.
Paying his share of the rent gives him rights as a tenant, but it does not automatically mean he can unilaterally turn a shared apartment into a place where his partner also lives.
Don’t make it a fight between you and the girlfriend. She is not the main problem. Your disagreement is with your roommate.
Have a calm conversation with him. Tell him that you respect his relationship, but having someone stay for several days is different from having a visitor for an evening.
Speak to the other roommates. Since they are temporarily away, don’t make a permanent decision on their behalf; they should at least know what is happening.
Set a clear boundary rather than issuing an ultimatum. You can say that you are not comfortable with an additional person becoming a permanent occupant unless all the tenants agree.
If he continues to refuse any discussion, you may have to decide whether the friendship is worth enduring an arrangement that makes you uncomfortable or whether, when the tenancy ends, you should live separately.
