Obaa Yaa
My second child is not my husband’s
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been keeping this secret close to seven years and it keeps haunting me. Though l am a wedded wife with three children, our second child is not my husband’s but my former boyfriend.
l had secret love affairs with my former boyfriend and became pregnant in the process. Despite the efforts made to abort the pregnancy, l was not successful and, therefore, decided to keep it a secret between me and my boyfriend.
This matter continues to haunt me and l have reached a stage l cannot conceal it any longer. However, knowing the type of person my husband is l can imagine his angry response to this revelation.
The boy resembles my ex-boyfriend and this revelation will not raise any doubt in my husband’s mind.
Obaa Yaa, l am itching to get your response since l am seriously disturbed.
Ama, Accra.
Dear Ama,
This is a sensitive issue which must be tackled with care since it has the potential to break up the marriage and tarnish your reputation forever.
Your husband should not hear about this because even if he is an angel, he will become enraged and hell will break loose.
You have the duty to confess to your priest or pastor who will lead you through series of prayers and fasting.
God sees through all hearts and knows how remorseful one is. The description of your situation shows that you are truly repentant of your sins and with this in mind, God is prepared to forgive and bless you.
This is on condition that you will no longer have anything to do with this former boyfriend of yours. This man carries more blame because he has the audacity to have series of intercourse with somebody’s wife.
Though his biological father, your son will be angry if he gets to know that his real father slept with a wedded wife and you also consented to the act which has resulted in his birth.
Our grandparents endured such instances in the past and were guided by wisdom to keep them as secrets to promote peace in the family.
Having gone through this spiritual exercise, your heart will find absolute peace and forgiveness from God.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
