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Obaa Yaa

My mother is misbehaving

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 26 and I live in the same house with my mother who is becoming annoying. She doesn’t do anything at home and she is not making things easier for me either. She doesn’t give me room to communicate with her. She wakes up, eats her breakfast and leaves for work. 

Lately, she appears to be very forgetful. Many a time, she would leave food on the stove and forget that she has left something there until the food gets burnt. When l complain she insults me.

This behaviour of hers  seems to be getting worse. She has refused to take any advice too. I am worried. Is there anything I can do?

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Vivian, Nkawkaw.

Dear Vivian, 

You did not state your mother’s age but it appears she may be entering into another phase of her life. It may not be her fault. About her becoming forgetful, she may be suffering from dementia or other neurological condition. You can help her seek medical attention.

Talk to her on her calm or happy days and don’t react when she does anything that upsets you. Remain vigilant when she leaves anything on fire so that she doesn’t end up burning down the house.

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Again, do your best to help her with some tasks, and get closer to her more as she may eventually open up about her challenges.

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Obaa Yaa

Her attitude has changed

Dear Obaa Yaa,

There is something happening that could ruin the relation­ship with my girlfriend if it is not checked.

My girlfriend has a beautiful chocolate complexion which I am proud of.

In recent times, she has start­ed bleaching in a manner I find annoying.

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When I asked her why she is bleaching, she was unable to give me any tangible reason except to say that she wants the skin to be smooth.

I have, however, learnt from a friend of her’s that she admires another friend who has bleached her skin.

Because of that, I have warned her about the dangers and ramifi­cations involved in bleaching but she has turned a blind eye.

One annoying thing is that after spending all her money on bleaching soaps and creams, she persistently worries me for money as if I am indebted to her.

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I am beginning to think that she is bleaching to attract other men just as the friend is doing.

I am thinking of breaking up with her because she is not ready to listen to me.

Asare, Accra.

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Dear Asare,

You don’t need to break up with her because she is bleaching. Try and coax this girl to give up this bad habit and if possible get her a pastor and parents to talk to her.

If this should fail, give her an ultimatum to give up this habit or risk losing the relationship.

Bleaching has side effects and can cause skin cancer.

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You can also advise her to do the skin therapy with a good body cream.

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Obaa Yaa

I’m ashamed of my stature

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young lady of 18 years and I have developed a stature I am ashamed of.Obaa, at first I was slim, smart and beautiful.

Within a few months, I have grown fat. When I walk around with my friends, they just make fun of me.

I realised the weight gain is affecting my health. I am finding it difficult to walk for long. That is making me sick all the time.

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I am worried, please help me to get back to my normal stature.

Dora,

Konongo

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Dear Dora,

You must first determine if your sud­den excessive weight is as a result of eating too much or because of some drugs you are taking.

If it is because of some drugs, then see a doctor for an advice.

However, if it is because of excessive eating, then try to cut down the quan­tity of food you eat and then begin to exercise. Try and enroll in a keep –fit club or gymnasium.

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Some people also put on weight when they are stressed, so try and have enough rest.

If you know a dietician, seek coun­selling so you don’t end up suffering for anorexia

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