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Obaa Yaa

My husband doubts paternity of our children

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for 10 years and blessed with four children – two boys and two girls.

Recently my husband has been making statements suggesting that the children do not resemble him and therefore suspect that l had ex­tra-marital affair.

We went for DNA tests and the results show that the four children are his.

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Despite this evidence, he still does not believe it. What should I do be­cause I am getting confused with the situation?

Kruwaa, Taifa.

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Dear Kruwaa,

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There is a lot of suspicion in marriage if children do not resemble their fathers. There are similar situations when these children do not resemble their mothers that carried the pregnancy for nine months, yet no one raises any alarm over it.

There are instances where some children resemble rela­tives of either parents.

When there are doubts, the only accurate means to ascertain the truth is through a DNA test.

If you have gone through this sci­entific method to verify the paternity of the children and your husband is still not satisfied, then one cannot tell what will convince him.

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Once your hands are clean in this matter, remain calm and try to provide the necessary assistance your children need. Since he is still not convinced that the children are his, there is a likelihood that he will not lend his support in their upbringing.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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