Obaa Yaa

My boyfriend is unhappy with our open relationship

Published

1 year ago

April 27, 2024

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend happily agreed to an open relationship but now that I am getting a lot more attention than him, he wants to return to monogamy.

I am a 23-year-old woman and he is 24. We met at the university and have been together for four years.

I have always felt like I met him too early. While I love and respect him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, there is so much more I want to experience first.

I want to travel and meet different people. To be honest, I want to have more sexual experiences before I settle down.

I have told my boyfriend I was interested in an open relationship and he had never rejected the idea out rightly, but when I got a job and was posted to a different region, I felt strongly the time was right to put my plan into action.

Although we both love each other and want to stay together this arrangement seemed to me the best way to be romantically involved and sexually satisfied while living in different places.

Six months into my posting, I have had four partners while my boyfriend has had none.

Now he says we should end the relationship. Please what should I do?

Esther, Pokuase

****

Dear Esther,

I must say that it was a bad arrangement in the first place for both of you to have accepted to engage in such ungodly act. For a relationship to thrive, there should be trust and respect but if none is present then the relationship will go nowhere.

If you are ready for a monogamous relationship, then you must stop this behaviour.

You have been unfaithful to your boyfriend for having other partners. Remember you are prone to contracting a sexually transmitted disease easily if you engage in sexual activities with multiple sexual partners.

Forget about exploring the world and settle down with your boyfriend.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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