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Man attacked by 12-foot crocodile he mistook for plastic statue

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A tourist in the Philippines was attacked by a crocodile after mistaking it for a life-size model.

Nehemias Chipada climbed in a pool to snap some pictures with the 12-foot reptile at a theme park. However, to the 68-year-old man’s horror, the crocodile lunged at his arm and dragged him into the water.

According to The Mirror, the incident occurred while Mr Chipada was visiting the Amaya View amusement park in Cagayan de Oro City, the Philippines, on November 10.

As he stood with his phone in one hand to take selfies with the crocodile, the predator grabbed his left arm and dragged him into the water in front of his terrified family and other bystanders.

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The incident was captured on camera by onlooker Rogelio Pamisa Antiga and the visuals have been widely shared online.

According to reports, Nehemias Chipada was luckily able to break free and escape. Photos taken immediately after the attack captured him lying on the ground, his left arm bloodied and bandaged.

He was rushed to the hospital, where he received surgery on his left arm. The family blamed lack of warning signs around the amusement park for the incident. The amusement park, however, denied the allegations.  — ndtv.com

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I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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The drunk man

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A drunk man

A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”

The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”

“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”

“Of course I can!” says the man.

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He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”

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