Obaa Yaa

Is he giving me false hope?

Published

5 years ago

June 8, 2020

Dear Obaa Yaa

I started dating a young man about four months ago. He is 35 years and I am 25 years. He has separated from his wife before we met. He told me he wanted to divorce his wife and settle down with me but he could not finalise the divorce procedures due to the COVID-19 outbreak.

Recently he told me we should keep our relationship private until further notice, and that not even his friends should know about our relationship. He introduces me as a cousin anytime we step out and insists we can only make the relationship public after he completely divorces his wife.

It has been several months and the divorce has still not happened. Now I am beginning to think that he is only giving me false hopes. Should I continue to hold on or quit?

Yaayaa, Odumase.

Dear Yaayaa,

Some divorce procedures, indeed, take some time so you may hold on for a while if you love your man. But if your instincts are becoming too strong, then you should advise yourself appropriately, especially if the divorce is not happening.

He has separated from his wife but not divorced. He can still go back to her at anytime. To some extent, this man may be giving you flimsy excuses so he can continue having his way with you.

As long as the divorce is not complete, you cannot claim him so reduce the time you spend with him and let him finish resolving his marital issues. Proceed only when the road is clear.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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