Obaa Yaa
I’m stuck in between
I am 28 years old and dating a 38-year-old woman. We started off well. The connection was great but as time went on, I realised she was a perfectionist and wanted to be right all the time.
She talks to old friends and sometimes flirts with them but becomes suspicious of any call I receive. She acts like she loves me but I once read a message on her phone where she described me as a ‘small boy” to another person.
My composure towards her has not been the same since I saw the message. Now I am in love with a younger lady who is my age mate but she is not as caring, loving and sexually active as the older woman I am seeing now. It feels like I am stuck in between. What should I do?
Worried Nana Yaw.
Dear Nana Yaw,
You shot yourself in the foot by reading messages on your sugar mummy’s mobile phone. It appears, from your narrative that you are in the relationship because of the sexual gratification you get from your “older woman”.
Examine your current relationship to determine if you really love your sugar mummy. If your responses are negative, you need to re-adjust and define the kind of relationship you want for yourself. Bear in mind that a healthy relationship goes beyond sexual gratification.
Walk out if you are not happy with your sugar mummy and pay more attention to your younger girlfriend and see where the road would lead both of you to.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
