Relationship
Is cohabitation good for future marriage?
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Couples living together, cohabiting or coexisting, and sharing sexual intimacy before marriage, is said to increase or encourage divorce.
This has been confirmed by Ambert (2009) who explained that cohabited couples are less committed and can easily decide to go or come out of a relationship as compared to married couples who are much committed.
Moreover, multiple cohabitations (with different partners in previous relationships) before marriage increase the risk of divorce.
The reason is that when such a couple is married, they are more likely to opt for divorce easily since they have previous records of often ending cohabited relationships before they finally married the one they are with.
Rodrigues, Hall and Fincham (2006) revealed in their findings that men and women who cohabit their future spouses before marriage have a higher likelihood of divorce as compared to their counterparts who do not.
On the extreme end, a research study has shown that cohabitation which involved only one partner stands a lower risk of divorce after marriage than cohabitation which involved series of partners.
Nevertheless, the divorce risk for one partner cohabitation is still higher than a couple who did not cohabit at all.
What does all this mean to you? Are you and your partner cohabiting before your marriage?
These research findings confirm that not only is the Christian teaching against cohabitation a spiritual reason; but in addition, it is a well-documented research fact attesting to the infallibility of the Holy Scriptures.
They confirm that the Bible is true in all its foundational teachings.
Thankfully, as Christian partners who are governed by the authority of the Holy Scriptures, I am sure you have been taught in one way or the other to stay away from cohabiting since it is not a godly or holy way of living in the sight of the Almighty God. The Church’s teaching on cohabitation is not an ‘arbitrary’ rule.
Living together before marriage is a sin; because it violates God’s commandments and the law of the Church.
As earlier stated, by the word ‘cohabitation’, we mean the practice of a man and a woman living together, and sharing sexual intimacy, without being married. The only sexual relations that are approved by God are inside the covenant of marriage.
Cohabitation is not a modern trend; it dates back through most of history. In the Roman city of Corinth, sex outside of marriage was common, so much so that the converts to Christianity had written to the Apostle Paul about the problem. His reply was:
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote:
“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” (1 Cor. 7:1 3, ESV)
Paul gave this instruction because he understood that God’s purpose for sex was inside the commitment of marriage. Sex outside the marriage relationship is called ‘sexual immorality’.
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV.
COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
Author, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Marriage Therapist & Reverend Minister
Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC)
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.
1. Meet with the teacher and staff early
Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.
2. Help the teacher get to know your child.
Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.
3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.
Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.
4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.
If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class.
5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.
Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.
6. Participate in school events.
Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.
7. Say “thank you.”
Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.
