Obaa Yaa
I’m afraid my mum will reject her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man of 35 years of age. I met a woman who is also in her 30s three years ago at a friend’s wedding. We have been dating since then.
She is a very intelligent lady, humble, hardworking and every man’s dream girl.
I proposed to her and I must say the lady loves me so much.
I want to take the relationship to a different level. However, my mother does not support my decision because she dislikes her tribe.
The only barrier is that she comes from a tribe which my mother advised me against. Due to that, I have not been bold enough to mention her tribe to my mother.
I really wish to introduce her formally to my parents but I am scared of what my mother will say. How do I go about it? I need your advice.
Israel, Accra
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Dear Israel,
Having someone who makes you happy is a good thing.
From your own words, your girlfriend is loving and caring and possesses all these admirable qualities. I think you should count yourself lucky and blessed to have gotten a woman in this present day with such pleasant qualities.
And it is obvious that you really love her; so I will advise that you tell your parents the truth about her tribe.
Her tribe should not be a hindrance at all if she is a good woman.
She will definitely win the heart of your mother if she is a good woman as you portray her to be.
Moreover, you can talk to your mother about how good she is and explain to her why you need her as your future wife.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
