Obaa Yaa
My wife has been discussing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I and my wife have been married for five years now, although we have known each other for over three years.
She is a banker and I am a journalist. We have two beautiful daughters.
The problem is that her childhood female friend who is not married yet has been worrying me to sleep with her. I told my wife about her actions and how she comes into our apartment whenever my wife is not around.
I personally confronted her and she told me my wife was the cause. She said my wife keeps telling her how good I am in bed.
Is it right for a partner to discuss a husband to a friend?
****
Dear Jeff
You have a very interesting but serious issue at hand.
For your wife to discuss such issues with a friend suggest they are very close and trust each other.
But that notwithstanding, it is not enough to make her friend take such an action.
In our clandestine moments, friends chat about a lot of personal issues based on the trust that exist between them so I would not blame his wife much.
My issue is with the way her friend reacted. It means she has always been ‘crushing’ on you but never mustered the courage to tell your wife.
I think you did very well by avoiding her and making your wife aware of what was happening. She will now know the kind of ‘serpent’ she’s keeping as a friend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
