Obaa Yaa
My wife has been discussing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I and my wife have been married for five years now, although we have known each other for over three years.
She is a banker and I am a journalist. We have two beautiful daughters.
The problem is that her childhood female friend who is not married yet has been worrying me to sleep with her. I told my wife about her actions and how she comes into our apartment whenever my wife is not around.
I personally confronted her and she told me my wife was the cause. She said my wife keeps telling her how good I am in bed.
Is it right for a partner to discuss a husband to a friend?
****
Dear Jeff
You have a very interesting but serious issue at hand.
For your wife to discuss such issues with a friend suggest they are very close and trust each other.
But that notwithstanding, it is not enough to make her friend take such an action.
In our clandestine moments, friends chat about a lot of personal issues based on the trust that exist between them so I would not blame his wife much.
My issue is with the way her friend reacted. It means she has always been ‘crushing’ on you but never mustered the courage to tell your wife.
I think you did very well by avoiding her and making your wife aware of what was happening. She will now know the kind of ‘serpent’ she’s keeping as a friend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
