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Obaa Yaa

My wife has been discussing me

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I and my wife have been married for five years now, although we have known each other for over three years.

She is a banker and I am a journalist. We have two beautiful daughters.

The problem is that her childhood female friend who is not married yet has been worrying me to sleep with her. I told my wife about her actions and how she comes into our apartment whenever my wife is not around.

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I personally confronted her and she told me my wife was the cause. She said my wife keeps telling her how good I am in bed.

Is it right for a partner to discuss a husband to a friend?

****

Dear Jeff

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You have a very interesting but serious issue at hand.

For your wife to discuss such issues with a friend suggest they are very close and trust each other.

But that notwithstanding, it is not enough to make her friend take such an action.

In our clandestine moments, friends chat about a lot of personal issues based on the trust that exist between them so I would not blame his wife much.

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My issue is with the way her friend reacted. It means she has always been ‘crushing’ on you but never mustered the courage to tell your wife.

I think you did very well by avoiding her and making your wife aware of what was happening. She will now know the kind of ‘serpent’ she’s keeping as a friend.

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Obaa Yaa

My husband is uncomfortable with me going to market 

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.

Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.

This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I  has now become a family affair.

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I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.

He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.

Baaba, Apam

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Dear Baaba,

Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage. 

Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.

Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.

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You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.

On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

My landlord wants to eject me over refusal to pay 100% increment

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200. 

He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.

Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.

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