Obaa Yaa
I feel guilty of breaking-up
Dear ObaaYaa,
We got to know each other after having stayed on the same flat with our brothers for a couple of years while we schooled. We exchanged greetings on the few occasions that we met and with time we developed the liking for each other.
At school, we had time to exchange letters and enjoyed the friendship that existed between us. It became obvious to residents on the flat that we were close and were always found together whenever the opportunity was available.
Though l am the humble and quiet person, she was very pretty, more quiet, respectful, shy and would not like to look in your face.
Very much aware of our backgrounds and for the reason that we would like to benefit from our studies and make it in life, we settled on the point to abstain from sex till we married.
After some years, lpestered her for sex on several occasions and since she refused to comply, l later took a girlfriend. This girl got pregnant only two months of our friendship, and since then, l have never known peace.
There were occasions that she insulted me in public to confirm what people told me after she had become pregnant that she was quarrelsome and troublesome.
Having gone through these problems, l have realised that l had made a serious mistake.
Is it possible to pacify my former girlfriend?
Kwame-Tema.
Dear Kwame,
It is good to note that you have admitted your fault and to what extent impatience has caused you to miss out on a pretty lady with a good character.
This will teach you that patience pays and there is the need to take many things into consideration before you take a major decision in life.
The possibility of convincing your former girlfriend to come back to you is slim, because you have a child with another person and it is not clear whether she will forgive you or she is married to somebody else.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
