Obaa Yaa
I cannot do without this lady
I met this pretty lady in church and l must confess that everything about her attracts me and for that matter l have decided to do all within my means to marry her.
My friends who are aware of my decision to marry this lady are in support of it and even eager to see this day come to pass.
However, l am entertaining fears that my parents will not agree that l marry this lady because she has a child.
Aware that she has a child, l have given her the assurance that l will love her and also love her child.
But no amount of explanation could change the minds of my parents that things would be better and that this marriage could be an exception.
Despite the stance of my parents, my lady keeps encouraging me to keep my cool and try to win the consent of my parents.
She is hard working, submissive and can easily adapt to situations and, therefore, has the capability to win their hearts if granted the opportunity to spend a few days with them.
Indeed, l think this is the lady l have to marry no matter the frustrations in my life. What can l do in order to win the favour of my parents?
Kwame, Sunyani.
Dear Kwame,
There are instances one can be certain that experience is the best teacher.
Your parents’ decision to prevent you from marrying this lady could be from an experience they might have had. Therefore, they are trying to prevent you from falling into a similar problem.
The possibility of having problems with a step child is great because any attempt to discipline the child will be misconstrued. Some parents have problems controlling their biological children, let alone a step child.
On the contrary, there are exceptions in every situation and if the child is submissive and lives up to expectation, then you must count yourself a lucky husband.
You ought to convince your parents that your wife-to-be, is loving, caring and has some positive sides. Additionally, a lady who has no child could become a monster in the house.
It is also good that lovers who have gone through courtship and realised that they are compatible, should be given the opportunity to marry.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
