Obaa Yaa
I am tired of his lies and empty promises
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in a relationship over five years and l am beginning to entertain fears that my lover is deceiving me with unfulfilled promises.
I feel disappointed anytime l remember my past life, especially when l disobeyed my parents and made them to become the laughing stock in the community.
My boyfriend persuaded me to stop school, leave the comfort of my parents’ home, l defied the orders of my parents and foolishly followed him.
Unfortunately, l am now struggling to get my daily bread and things are not going on well with me.
We have aborted two pregnancies and l am entertaining fears that l will be pregnant pretty soon and would be compelled to abort another pregnancy with the excuse that “l am not ready to father a child”.
I am tired of his lies and empty promises and making me a laughing stock in the community.
Though l love him, l have decided to forget about him and return to my parents to plead for forgiveness.
Will my parents take me back?
Alice, Accra.
Dear Alice,
Defying the orders of your parents in the first instance was not good because you have disobeyed the orders of God.
I can envisage how your parents will feel being let down by someone they had spent their love, resources, time and energy looking after from childhood till you became of age.
Your defiance could be likened to a stab in the back and they must have been disappointed in you.
Repeated abortions could block your chances of becoming pregnant, especially at a time you may need a child. Therefore, the earlier you leave your boyfriend, the better it will serve your interest and safeguard your future.
It will be in your interest to go back to your parents like the prodigal son in the Bible and plead for mercy.
I have the belief that they will welcome you back.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
