Obaa Yaa
Mum insists l marry wealthy young man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been dating over three years now with much progress for which reason we have decided to marry, but my mother is not in favour of this gentleman.
My mother is insisting that l should marry a rich young man instead of my boyfriend. She has gone further to introduce me to her rich friend’s son to make the necessary arrangements for our wedding.
I have told my boyfriend about the latest moves by my mother and he has suggested that we elope together.
Though this plan will take me from my parents as long as l wish, l consider it a great disrespect to them.
Kindly help me out of this problem since l am getting confused.
Adzoa, Accra.
Dear Adzoa,
I am glad you have taken the right decision by writing to this column.
Though children ought to respect their parents and guardians and also seek their advice, there are occasions parents fail to listen to the views of their children before arriving at certain critical decisions they take concerning them.
You may consider eloping from the town and also the reach of your parents the best option, but should something happen to you tomorrow who will come to your aid?
Try to explain your position to some senior members of your family who can champion your decision by holding talks with your parents and help in resolving the problem.
No matter the differences, your parents can never be replaced by any other person, hence the need to resolve the issues and promote peace in the family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
