Obaa Yaa
Mum insists l marry wealthy young man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been dating over three years now with much progress for which reason we have decided to marry, but my mother is not in favour of this gentleman.
My mother is insisting that l should marry a rich young man instead of my boyfriend. She has gone further to introduce me to her rich friend’s son to make the necessary arrangements for our wedding.
I have told my boyfriend about the latest moves by my mother and he has suggested that we elope together.
Though this plan will take me from my parents as long as l wish, l consider it a great disrespect to them.
Kindly help me out of this problem since l am getting confused.
Adzoa, Accra.
Dear Adzoa,
I am glad you have taken the right decision by writing to this column.
Though children ought to respect their parents and guardians and also seek their advice, there are occasions parents fail to listen to the views of their children before arriving at certain critical decisions they take concerning them.
You may consider eloping from the town and also the reach of your parents the best option, but should something happen to you tomorrow who will come to your aid?
Try to explain your position to some senior members of your family who can champion your decision by holding talks with your parents and help in resolving the problem.
No matter the differences, your parents can never be replaced by any other person, hence the need to resolve the issues and promote peace in the family.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
