Obaa Yaa
I am in love with Businessman
I am a Level 300 student in one of the universities. A businessman proposed love to me two years ago and I must admit that we’ve had interesting moments together.
My lover treated me like a queen and it was always joy when I was in his company, especially when we travelled out of Accra to lovely places for pleasure since I knew I was schooling.
He demanded that I should abort the pregnancy or should not mention his name as the one responsible. He further threatened that I should consider the end of the relationship if I failed to carry out his instruction.
My fake lover claimed that his intention was to allow me have enough time to complete my education uninterrupted.
I am surprised about the sudden change in his character, from a seemingly loving person who appeared very humble and promised me heaven on earth as a means to demonstrate his love for me.
Do I have a future with such a person?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
We often fall in trouble because of our failure to critically think about the consequences of certain actions we take in life. As a student your primary duty is to concentrate on your studies and ensure that you achieve your aim of going to school.
You should not forget that your parents have invested their meagre income in your education, hence the need for you to have focused in school.
In the first place, your parents will not be happy that you are pregnant thereby defeating your purpose of going to school.
The predicament you find yourself suggests that your parents have wasted their resources in your education, a situation which will give people in the community the opportunity to rain insults on you.
Going by the adage, “Two wrongs do not make a right,” I will suggest that you maintain the pregnancy irrespective of the fact that you will incur the displeasure of your parents, relatives and friends.
Abortion displeases God, and you can either die in the process or become barren as a result. Do not succumb to the pressure from your boyfriend who has a child.
You have to defer the course to give birth and be ready for the insults and ridicule.
You must plead for forgiveness from your parents and let life go on, though it will be difficult to go through the period.
Remain resolute in the face of this challenge and you will emerge victorious, provided you remain focused in life.
A female lawyer shared her experience during a television discussion that she had to defer school when she got pregnant, was delivered of the baby, after which she continued her education. She commended her mother who took care of her baby while she returned to school.
This man cannot be trusted since his aim was to satisfy his sexual pleasure.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
