Obaa Yaa
I am in love with Businessman
I am a Level 300 student in one of the universities. A businessman proposed love to me two years ago and I must admit that we’ve had interesting moments together.
My lover treated me like a queen and it was always joy when I was in his company, especially when we travelled out of Accra to lovely places for pleasure since I knew I was schooling.
He demanded that I should abort the pregnancy or should not mention his name as the one responsible. He further threatened that I should consider the end of the relationship if I failed to carry out his instruction.
My fake lover claimed that his intention was to allow me have enough time to complete my education uninterrupted.
I am surprised about the sudden change in his character, from a seemingly loving person who appeared very humble and promised me heaven on earth as a means to demonstrate his love for me.
Do I have a future with such a person?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
We often fall in trouble because of our failure to critically think about the consequences of certain actions we take in life. As a student your primary duty is to concentrate on your studies and ensure that you achieve your aim of going to school.
You should not forget that your parents have invested their meagre income in your education, hence the need for you to have focused in school.
In the first place, your parents will not be happy that you are pregnant thereby defeating your purpose of going to school.
The predicament you find yourself suggests that your parents have wasted their resources in your education, a situation which will give people in the community the opportunity to rain insults on you.
Going by the adage, “Two wrongs do not make a right,” I will suggest that you maintain the pregnancy irrespective of the fact that you will incur the displeasure of your parents, relatives and friends.
Abortion displeases God, and you can either die in the process or become barren as a result. Do not succumb to the pressure from your boyfriend who has a child.
You have to defer the course to give birth and be ready for the insults and ridicule.
You must plead for forgiveness from your parents and let life go on, though it will be difficult to go through the period.
Remain resolute in the face of this challenge and you will emerge victorious, provided you remain focused in life.
A female lawyer shared her experience during a television discussion that she had to defer school when she got pregnant, was delivered of the baby, after which she continued her education. She commended her mother who took care of her baby while she returned to school.
This man cannot be trusted since his aim was to satisfy his sexual pleasure.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
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