Obaa Yaa
I am in love with Businessman
I am a Level 300 student in one of the universities. A businessman proposed love to me two years ago and I must admit that we’ve had interesting moments together.
My lover treated me like a queen and it was always joy when I was in his company, especially when we travelled out of Accra to lovely places for pleasure since I knew I was schooling.
He demanded that I should abort the pregnancy or should not mention his name as the one responsible. He further threatened that I should consider the end of the relationship if I failed to carry out his instruction.
My fake lover claimed that his intention was to allow me have enough time to complete my education uninterrupted.
I am surprised about the sudden change in his character, from a seemingly loving person who appeared very humble and promised me heaven on earth as a means to demonstrate his love for me.
Do I have a future with such a person?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
We often fall in trouble because of our failure to critically think about the consequences of certain actions we take in life. As a student your primary duty is to concentrate on your studies and ensure that you achieve your aim of going to school.
You should not forget that your parents have invested their meagre income in your education, hence the need for you to have focused in school.
In the first place, your parents will not be happy that you are pregnant thereby defeating your purpose of going to school.
The predicament you find yourself suggests that your parents have wasted their resources in your education, a situation which will give people in the community the opportunity to rain insults on you.
Going by the adage, “Two wrongs do not make a right,” I will suggest that you maintain the pregnancy irrespective of the fact that you will incur the displeasure of your parents, relatives and friends.
Abortion displeases God, and you can either die in the process or become barren as a result. Do not succumb to the pressure from your boyfriend who has a child.
You have to defer the course to give birth and be ready for the insults and ridicule.
You must plead for forgiveness from your parents and let life go on, though it will be difficult to go through the period.
Remain resolute in the face of this challenge and you will emerge victorious, provided you remain focused in life.
A female lawyer shared her experience during a television discussion that she had to defer school when she got pregnant, was delivered of the baby, after which she continued her education. She commended her mother who took care of her baby while she returned to school.
This man cannot be trusted since his aim was to satisfy his sexual pleasure.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a father of two children from my previous marriage.
Unfortunately, the marriage ended because of my ex-wife’s persistent toxic behaviour, which began to affect not only our business but also the emotional well-being of our children. Eventually, the court took notice of the situation and granted me full custody of the children, who are now 13 and 10 years old.
Since then, their mother has been largely absent from their lives. She barely checks on them and once told me, rather bluntly, “Since they mean more to you, don’t look for me again.”
I have done my best to raise them with love, stability, and a sense of security despite her absence.
Recently, I was given a life-changing opportunity to travel abroad for work, with the option to relocate with both children. As part of my preparation, I decided to conduct a DNA test, mainly for personal clarity.
The results have left me deeply shaken.
They revealed that my younger child is not biologically mine, while the older one is.
Now, I find myself in a difficult position. The company offering me employment has structured my benefits based on the number of dependents I declared. One of the children I have listed is, by blood, not mine.
I am confused, hurt, and unsure of the right thing to do both morally and practically.
Obaa Yaa, please, what should I do?
Kenneth, Koforidua.
Dear Kenneth
What you are facing goes beyond DNA. It is about the meaning of fatherhood. For 10 years, you have raised this child with love, care, and responsibility.
That bond is real, and the child is innocent in this situation.
Before making any decision, reflect on whether this new information will truly change how you see or treat the child who has always known you as their father.
On the practical side, consider the legal and employment implications carefully. Since you have full custody, both children are still legally your dependents, and many systems recognise guardianship, not just biology.
However, it would be wise to quietly review your employment terms or seek legal advice to ensure that you are not unintentionally putting yourself at risk, especially with relocation abroad.
Ultimately, this decision is about both compassion and responsibility. Think about the emotional impact on the children and whether separating them would do more harm than good. You have an opportunity to shape their future. Approach it with both wisdom and heart, taking time to decide what kind of father you want to continue to be.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 19-year-old girl living with my father in Accra. About two years ago, my father made sexual advances toward me. Since then, he has continued to harass me, but I have always refused.
I reported the issue to my mother, who lives in the village. However, when I returned to Accra, my father continued his behaviour. Last year, he told me that if I agreed to sleep with him, he would give me anything I wanted.
About six months ago, around midnight, he came to me and said he wanted to marry me because he found me very beautiful and did not want any other man to have me.
I feel deeply disturbed and angry. The thought of this is unbearable, and I have even considered taking my own life because marrying my father is a taboo.
Baaba, Nungua.
Dear Baaba,
Please do not harm yourself. You have done nothing wrong, and you do not deserve this. The person at fault is your father, and he must be held accountable for his actions.
I strongly advise that you leave your father’s house immediately. Do not allow him to stop you. If you have nowhere else to stay, go to your mother in the village for now.
Speak honestly with your mother about what has been happening. Together, inform trusted members of both your father’s and your mother’s families. A family meeting should be arranged so your father can be confronted about his behaviour.
If he denies the allegations, shows no remorse, or threatens you at any point, you must report the matter to the police without delay.
If you return to Accra in the future, do not live with your father again. During the family discussions, arrangements should also be made to ensure your father continues to support you financially until you are able to care for yourself independently.
