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Obaa Yaa

I am in love with Businessman

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I am a Level 300 student in one of the universities. A businessman proposed love to me two years ago and I must admit that we’ve had interesting moments together.

My lover treated me like a queen and it was always joy when I was in his company, especially when we travelled out of Accra to lovely places for pleasure since I knew I was schooling.

He demanded that I should abort the pregnancy or should not mention his name as the one responsible. He further threatened that I should con­sider the end of the relation­ship if I failed to carry out his instruction.

My fake lover claimed that his intention was to allow me have enough time to com­plete my education uninter­rupted.

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I am surprised about the sudden change in his charac­ter, from a seemingly loving person who appeared very humble and promised me heaven on earth as a means to demonstrate his love for me.

Do I have a future with such a person?

Ama, Tema.

Dear Ama,

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We often fall in trouble because of our failure to crit­ically think about the conse­quences of certain actions we take in life. As a student your primary duty is to concentrate on your studies and ensure that you achieve your aim of going to school.

You should not forget that your parents have invested their meagre income in your education, hence the need for you to have focused in school.

In the first place, your parents will not be happy that you are pregnant there­by defeating your purpose of going to school.

The predicament you find yourself suggests that your parents have wasted their resources in your education, a situation which will give people in the community the opportunity to rain insults on you.

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Going by the adage, “Two wrongs do not make a right,” I will suggest that you maintain the pregnancy irrespective of the fact that you will incur the displeasure of your par­ents, relatives and friends.

Abortion displeases God, and you can either die in the process or become barren as a result. Do not succumb to the pressure from your boyfriend who has a child.

You have to defer the course to give birth and be ready for the insults and ridicule.

You must plead for forgive­ness from your parents and let life go on, though it will be difficult to go through the period.

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Remain resolute in the face of this challenge and you will emerge victorious, provided you remain focused in life.

A female lawyer shared her experience during a televi­sion discussion that she had to defer school when she got pregnant, was delivered of the baby, after which she continued her education. She commended her mother who took care of her baby while she returned to school.

This man cannot be trusted since his aim was to satisfy his sexual pleasure.

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Obaa Yaa

My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.

After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.

He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.

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I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.

There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.

My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.

Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?

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From Frimpongmaa,

Assin Praso.

Dear Frimpongmaa, 

I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.

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Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.

The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.

The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.

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Obaa Yaa

I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.

My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.

Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.

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My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.

I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.

I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.

What should I do?

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Adzo, Ho

Dear Adzo

If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.

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 At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.

I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.

Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.

Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.

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You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.

Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.

If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.

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