Obaa Yaa
Her love is still in my heart
Dear ObaaYaa,
We started friendship four years ago on a good note and this was a delight to many people.During the four years of our friendship, we visited each other at home and our parents and relatives had no problem with our relationship.
When l had surgery about two years ago, my lady was always there to render her support and services in whichever way she could and people admired her for that.
I was fortunate to get a job at Tamele in the Northern Region and she visited me on four occasions. Later, she told me that her father had disapproved of our relationship without assigning any reasons.
All attempts to persuade her to stick to our resolve to marry is unsuccessful and l am seriously disturbed about the latest events.
The love we have for each other is great and l do not know what step to take.
Kofi, Accra.
Dear Kofi,
I can imagine how you feel about the change of events in your relationship. I find it quite interesting how your parents were in support of your decision to marry initially.
Since it is not possible to pinpoint what might have informed his decision to change his mind suddenly, keep calm and see how things will turn out to be finally.
Though you might have enjoyed each other’s company all these yearsand very certain of a lovelymarried life, things are going contrary to how you had planned.
All the same, convey your sentiments to your girlfriend and plead with her to convince some of her relatives to talk to her father to rescind his decision.
However, if this suggestion fails, then you have to end the relationship, though on a painful note.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
