Obaa Yaa
He keeps changing of late
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for 20 years and we have three children by the grace of God. My husband is pending retirement whilst l have a few years to serve.
I have realised of late that my husband gets highly provoked by the least issue and shouts at the top of his voice and no one can calm him down and everything comes to a standstill in the house. He hangs on such issues for hours or even days before his temper comes down.
He has planned to settle in his hometown when he retires from active service and he is insisting that the family follows him.
Unfortunately, l am managing a small business which helps me to supplement my salary for the upkeep of the family.
Looking at the way he has changed suddenly and his decision that we should settle at his hometown worries me. l will consider this decision a worry to me because it will affect my work and the little business l run.
I cannot proceed on voluntary retirement as this will pose a serious problem to the family.
What action should l take under the circumstance?
Abena, Cape Coast.
Dear Abena,
I commend you for the swift action you have taken in writing to this column for advice.
We thank God that the minor frictions and insults in the house had not degenerated into fights which could have produced grave consequences.
We have different characteristics, levels at which people comprehend issues and how others also respond to certain types of messages or pieces of information that concerns them.
Information about pending retirement sets people to think about their future since they will have to depend on a meagre monthly allowance.
This becomes an issue of concern if the one proceeding on retirement has no reliable investment to depend on.
I don’t know the sort of investment your husband has made and how prepared he is for this new way of life. That is why some institutions have planned series of programmes to condition the minds of their employees who are pending retirement.
I think he has been thinking about many things, especially levels he could not achieve during his active working period.
You have to explain to him.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY wife is a trader. She travels frequently to a neighbouring country almost every two weeks for two days.
While she was away, her step-sister comes over to do some cooking for me.
I have noticed that her step-sister has been making advances at me.
Recently, she entered the bathroom while I was in there, and realised I was bathing. She stood looking at me until I threw some water at her.
I intend to tell my wife about her sister’s behaviour, but friends say this may cause tension between the sisters. I need your view.
Ben, Togo.
Dear Ben,
IT is true that such revelation to your wife will cause some tension between the two sisters.
You can also sit your sister-in-law down and give her a stern warning. Let her understand that you intend to report her to her sister if she makes that mistake again.
Then you will have to see how you can arrange with your wife for her to cook enough food to store while she is away for those two days. If necessary, you may have to buy a fridge or freezer for that purpose. In that case, there would be no need for your sister-in-law to come and stay over. You will also have to take good care of the children if there are any.
A marriage only works when those involved are prepared to make sacrifices.
However, if after this arrangement this woman should persist with her advances, then bring the matter out into the open and let your wife and her family know about it.
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