Obaa Yaa
He keeps changing of late
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for 20 years and we have three children by the grace of God. My husband is pending retirement whilst l have a few years to serve.
I have realised of late that my husband gets highly provoked by the least issue and shouts at the top of his voice and no one can calm him down and everything comes to a standstill in the house. He hangs on such issues for hours or even days before his temper comes down.
He has planned to settle in his hometown when he retires from active service and he is insisting that the family follows him.
Unfortunately, l am managing a small business which helps me to supplement my salary for the upkeep of the family.
Looking at the way he has changed suddenly and his decision that we should settle at his hometown worries me. l will consider this decision a worry to me because it will affect my work and the little business l run.
I cannot proceed on voluntary retirement as this will pose a serious problem to the family.
What action should l take under the circumstance?
Abena, Cape Coast.
Dear Abena,
I commend you for the swift action you have taken in writing to this column for advice.
We thank God that the minor frictions and insults in the house had not degenerated into fights which could have produced grave consequences.
We have different characteristics, levels at which people comprehend issues and how others also respond to certain types of messages or pieces of information that concerns them.
Information about pending retirement sets people to think about their future since they will have to depend on a meagre monthly allowance.
This becomes an issue of concern if the one proceeding on retirement has no reliable investment to depend on.
I don’t know the sort of investment your husband has made and how prepared he is for this new way of life. That is why some institutions have planned series of programmes to condition the minds of their employees who are pending retirement.
I think he has been thinking about many things, especially levels he could not achieve during his active working period.
You have to explain to him.
The Woman Seduced Me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old student who lost both parents at the age of 16.
I stayed with my late mother’s friend, a woman about 40 years old who lives in the same area.
After the death of my parents, she told me to come and stay with her. She promised to take good care of me because of the good relationship she had with my mother.
I moved from my former house to the woman’s place. In fact, she was kind to me and gave me all that I needed.
About three months later, the woman forced me to have sex with her. Since then, she has been making advances toward me and I am uncomfortable.
Obaa Yaa, how can an innocent boy like me escape from this trap?
Ramsey, Kasoa New Market.
Dear Ramsey,
YOU are indeed in trouble. If a woman who has assumed the position of a mother in your life has seduced you, then it is virtually equivalent to incest.
I suggest you begin to think about leaving the place.
Where are your relatives? Can’t any of them offer you a place, especially since both parents are late?
That should have been your first step instead of moving in with a friend.
Meanwhile, be on your guard and avoid being caught in any compromising situation with her now that you know what she is capable of.
Ask God for protection as you search for a new home. Commit your entire situation to prayer.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM 18 years old and she is also 18 years.
We have been lovers for the past two years.
I have a friend who knew about our relationship. This best friend of mine came home from school with his friend with the intention of giving him a girlfriend from his hometown.
This best friend of mine introduced my girlfriend to him and when I returned from school I was told about this sad issue.
I asked the girl and she replied negatively for several times. I was then advised by my friend to stop asking her about it.
For the second time my friend came with the same boy, but this time, I was there and in fact I really saw what happened and it was too horrifying.
Obaa Yaa, I made my mind to fight both boys but I later changed my mind.
She is very supportive and assists me with some of my needs in school.
What should I do, Obaa Yaa? She has still been visiting me but I’m worried.
O. D. Kennedy, Koforidua-E/R
Dear Kennedy,
I DOUBT if the person you claim to be your best friend is indeed a friend at all.
Why didn’t you confront him about this?
In any case, you don’t have to worry about her being snatched because it appears she loves you.
The only problem is that you are being over-anxious about the situation and feeling jealous.
For the time being, if you claim the boy trying to give out your girl is your best friend, then confront him and ask him to stop being treacherous — but don’t fight him.
