Obaa Yaa
He keeps changing of late
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for 20 years and we have three children by the grace of God. My husband is pending retirement whilst l have a few years to serve.
I have realised of late that my husband gets highly provoked by the least issue and shouts at the top of his voice and no one can calm him down and everything comes to a standstill in the house. He hangs on such issues for hours or even days before his temper comes down.
He has planned to settle in his hometown when he retires from active service and he is insisting that the family follows him.
Unfortunately, l am managing a small business which helps me to supplement my salary for the upkeep of the family.
Looking at the way he has changed suddenly and his decision that we should settle at his hometown worries me. l will consider this decision a worry to me because it will affect my work and the little business l run.
I cannot proceed on voluntary retirement as this will pose a serious problem to the family.
What action should l take under the circumstance?
Abena, Cape Coast.
Dear Abena,
I commend you for the swift action you have taken in writing to this column for advice.
We thank God that the minor frictions and insults in the house had not degenerated into fights which could have produced grave consequences.
We have different characteristics, levels at which people comprehend issues and how others also respond to certain types of messages or pieces of information that concerns them.
Information about pending retirement sets people to think about their future since they will have to depend on a meagre monthly allowance.
This becomes an issue of concern if the one proceeding on retirement has no reliable investment to depend on.
I don’t know the sort of investment your husband has made and how prepared he is for this new way of life. That is why some institutions have planned series of programmes to condition the minds of their employees who are pending retirement.
I think he has been thinking about many things, especially levels he could not achieve during his active working period.
You have to explain to him.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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